Friday, August 28, 2009

Tonight's flickers of rage.

It's almost time for beddie-bye, but I should get rid of all this anger before it invades my dreams and I have nightmares about Squigs from Warhammer or something.

No, I do not play Warhammer! I'm a nerd, but not THAT much. If you must know, they made a Squig cake on "Ace of Cakes" tonight. Even as a baked good, still horrifying.

Anyway, here are my moments of incessant eye-rolling. Kind of like Jon Stewart's moment of zen, except with anger. So, the opposite of zen? That sounds about right.

1. No more "Reading Rainbow" after today. Sucks! I used to love that shit when I was a kid. I feel like people younger than me (i.e. born after 1990) don't watch any of the stuff we used to, like "Reading Rainbow" or "Sesame Street." They had Bratz dolls and Disney TV shows and probably grew up too fast. Me? I recently bought Sesame Street sneakers. That really tells you all you need to know.

2. CNN has confirmed Larry King's interview with Chris Brown will appear on "Larry King Live" on Sept. 2. Great! Now we can watch him snivel with his mom and lawyer in tow, both attempting pathetically to defend his honor. E! claims that shit was "no-holds-barred." Yeah, right. You know what else was no-holds-barred? That time Chris Brown beat the shit out of Rihanna. Yup!

3. Variety reports that Fox is looking to make cult classic "Heathers" (one of my all-time fave films) into a TV series. WHY, PEOPLE? If this shit does happen, I really, really hope that Winona Ryder and Christian Slater boycott it, and don't take lame roles like Jennie Garth did on "90210." Do not pander, people! "Heathers" is too holy to be fucked with.

4. Bob Dylan is in talks with two major car companies to be the voice of their GPS systems, according to The Washington Post. Was selling out to Victoria's Secret - of all fucking places - not enough for the man? I don't get how a former folk activist goes down this road, really ... and I'm sure there's a GPS joke somewhere, but I'm not going to take it. Pass!

5. Looks like Gretchen and Slade, who were on two different seasons of Bravo's "The Real Housewives of Orange County," are now dating. You know, it's not like Gretchen's way older fiancee Jeff died barely a year ago from cancer or anything. But, how could I forget? He left her $2.5 million. And last time I checked, Slade - who used to date former housewife Jo - was an insurance executive who ALSO loved money! Go fucking figure.

+ Photos courtesy of WarhammerInfo, Photobucket, Dlisted

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