Wednesday, November 25, 2009

So, it's come to this:

In yet another round of cuts, The Washington Post is closing all of its national bureaus, shuttering its offices in Chicago, Los Angeles and New York and laying off some people. Awesome! I'm so excited about my future in journalism - especially when this comes on the heels of the Post cutting some online staff a few days ago after the print newsroom finally merged with the online one. Can Santa bring me another college degree this year, or maybe a master's in something useful for a government job? That'd be great.

Basically, this pretty much sums up my life.


+ Photo courtesy of someecards

Today's worst moment.

Me: Bored at work. Listening to Lady Gaga's "Dance in the Dark" on my co-worker's iPod. Trying to pretend I don't like it when I secretly do.

What's that I hear? A sample taken from George Michael's "Careless Whisper," I think? I do some Google-ing. In my quest, I stumble upon this: A question on Yahoo! Answers about "Who is Benet Ramsey?" ... and I think to myself, REALLY? Am I truly so old at 22, and Lady Gaga's fans so young, that they don't know/remember who JonBenét Ramsey is?

You know, this murdered little girl that caused a media shitstorm when she was kidnapped and murdered in 1996 and ticked off A. tons of non-white parents whose own children had gone missing and received no attention because they weren't pretty or rich and B. anyone with a heart who would find it shocking that such a little girl was forced into those creepy child pageants by her parents and then ended up killed.

Do we really have such a bad national memory that today's kids and teens are utterly ignorant of the Ramsey thing? When I was growing up, that shit was EVERYWHERE - I was 9 when she died, and I remember details about the case being on all the broadcast news stations, "America's Most Wanted," everything. Plus, remember when people thought her killer had been caught - back in 2006, when John Mark Karr admitted to doing it, but it turned out that he was just a sick and twisted fuck who was lying for the media spotlight?

Ugh, for shame, America's youth. While I agree Ramsey's death received tons of media attention just because of her race and class, I still think it was a particularly awful thing to happen to a kid, and I'm surprised more people don't know about or remember her. As someone old enough to drink legally, I'm going to go drown my ancient-feeling sorrows and contempt for the common ignorant man (and Yahoo! Answers) ... maybe while listening to "Bad Romance." DON'T JUDGE.

+ Photo courtesy of PerfectPeople


OH, pictures.

Sometimes, you, friends, really are ...

... worth 1,000 words of verbal vomit.

I feel like these travesties of nature (Jeffrey Campbell's Obscene boots, $250 at Karmaloop) being burned into my brain on the day before Thanksgiving has truly filled me with revulsion toward both food AND shoes. Congratulations, Internet. I never thought that could be done. I SEE I HAVE MET MY MATCH.

P.S. Nevertheless, thanks for hooking me up with a picture of Rihanna at some in-store event where I can see both her boobs and underwear (through a wonderfully absurd dress, I might add), even though you and I are engaged in a bitter war right now.

I see that you, as the all-knowing World Wide Web, are smart enough to realize that nudity > everything else.

+ Photos courtesy of Karmaloop, GoFugYourself

Monday, November 23, 2009

The bitch is back, etc.

Hola, friends. It has been forever since we've talked. I've been busy, but I've missed you, hope you've been doing well, etc. - and here's some pictures to get this ball rolling again.

The American Music Awards were last night, and if you've been breathing this morning, you've already heard about how Adam Lambert humped a male dancer's face (uh, Prince and Davey Havok have been doing that for years, but whatever) and Jennifer Lopez fell while performing. Hilarity! But you know I'm all about the clothes, so here's my thoughts.

+ Pete Wentz, why are you dressing like a Goth stormtrooper? This is awful. Somewhere, George Lucas is weeping about your rampant use of pleather ... and are those knee-high boots? Foul.

+ Oh, Selena Gomez. You're so fucking boring. I'm not saying you should throw some titties out, but come ON. You're 17. Take some damn dressing risks. Also, your shoes look like you got them from Payless. You make more money than that; we all fucking know it.

+ It always scares me when I see pictures of Joe Perry, becuase I think I'm looking at the walking dead. This photo - and that hairstyle - ain't helping.

+ And, of course, to my final loves: Rihanna, who looked baller in this Marchesa dress and some bizarre bandage-inspired performance get-up ...

... and Shakira, who somehow managed to pull-off both a neon yellow dress and a black disco ball mini with some crucial amounts of delightful cleavage. Impressive, woman. Impressive.

+ Photos courtesy of OMG! Yahoo, The Superficial

Thursday, November 12, 2009

These are some of my favorite things.

Bad music:

Ridiculous shoulders:

Sagia Casteñada, who is in this new Pitbull video:

Yup. I'm just that trashy.

+ Photo courtesy of Nasty Gal Vintage

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Rihanna's leg basically goes on forever.

So Riri's interview with Diane Sawyer was last week, and if you missed it, you can check out all five parts on YouTube - one, two, three, four and five. It's about 45 minutes total, and I'm pretty sure you can give up that little bit of your life to learn some juicy tidbits about her relationship with Chris Brown/how fucking idiotic he is.

But I'm more pleasantly surprised by how the world has returned to Riri's side recently - for example, she just won Glamour's Woman of the Year award - and she now seems to be thinking more about her outfits.

Like, no, this shit isn't stupendous. But it's somewhat interesting and architectural.

And look, in this one, I almost see her ladyparts! Really, that's all I need in my life at this point.

+ Photos courtesy of OMG! Yahoo, Gofugyourself

Santa Claus is coming to town.

Can I add these super trashy bras from Forever 21 to my Christmas list? I mean, they're obnoxious, sparkly and will anger my parents. What else do I need?

Or, on the complete opposite of the spectrum, I could ask for these silly, animal-inspired hats. Look, it's either be a whore or a child. There's no in-between with me.

+ Photos courtesy of Forever 21, Karmaloop

Oof, UO.

So, Urban Outfitters just added this T-shirt to their website today, and ...

... if you're like a humongous geek like me, you recognize that shirt as a fake one for Forks High School, which is the school in the "Twilight" books. And if you're luckily oblivious to "Twilight" stuff, well, there you go, I just informed you.

But my real qualm is this: I would expect this "Twilight"-inspired shit from Hot Topic, you know, because the store has this humongous section of their website dedicated to "New Moon" merchandise. But is anyone really going to buy a fake Forks High School shirt from Urban Outfitters? Especially a men's shirt? Bad call, hipsters. Bad call.

+ Photo courtesy of Urban Outfitters

Weekly hot bitch round-up.

So I haven't had Internet installed in my new apartment yet, which means my updates have been few and far between, as I'm sure you guys may have noticed. I'll try to make up for that today, firstly with this assortment of hot bitches I love/love to hate/want to hate but can't. You know the drill.

1. Halle Berry's family flew somewhere and landed somewhere. I don't really care about that. Instead, I honestly can't even comprehend this family's attractiveness (well, not the baby; that'd be creepy). But you get the idea.

2. Oh Shakira. Only your crazy, FOB-y self would rock dreads, knee-high patent boots and a spangly mini-skirt while performing at the MTV Europe VMAs. So absurd.

3. Why does Natalie Portman vex me so? I generally can't stand her, but in this rockabilly-themed photo shoot in V Magazine, I'm kind of into it. Maybe just because I like stupid hair and make-up. That's probably it.

4. How come Jared Leto looks younger now than he ever did as Jordan Catalano in "My So-Called Life?" I mean, I don't really give a fuck. Bitch is SO FINE. Plus, flannel and denim vests are my vices ...

5. Katy Perry just does such skanky things that I don't even have comments anymore. Really, woman? Light-up nipples?

And putting your boyfriend's name on your ass?

Sigh. My brain hurts.

6. Lastly, Taylor Swift is a crazy ex-girlfriend after my own heart by calling out Joe Jonas for being a cheating douchebag on "SNL" this weekend. Good form.

+ Photos courtesy of The Superficial, Dlisted, Popaholic, OMG! Yahoo, MTV

Hot tranny mess.

Come on, what else was I going to name a post dedicated to Lady Gaga's new music video for "Bad Romance?" Let's be accurate here, people.

P.S. Also, Gaga WOULD wear those Alexander McQueen shoes that Vogue UK blogged about. Such a crazy trick.

+ Photo courtesy of Vogue

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Getting down with threepeats.

So a few watchdog organizations - specifically and most vocally, the Parents Television Council - are up in arms over the fact that an upcoming episode of "Gossip Girl" is going to have a threesome. Episode name: "They Shoot Humphreys, Don't They?" Episode date: Nov. 9. Me: On the couch, frantically watching.

Now, I've heard that it's going to be Dan (Penn Badgely),

Olivia (guest star Hilary Duff)

and Vanessa (Jessica Szohr)

... the three most boring characters on the show. Potentially, then, this could be lame. Theoretically, though, anything that pisses off groups like the PTC is, in my opinion, fantastic.

Let the sexy times begin! And in honor of them, here's Britney Spears' latest single, "3." Didn't you know? Living in sin is the new thing!

Oh jeez, what a trashbox.

+ Photos courtesy of FashionIndie, TV Fanatic, Gossip Girl Insider

Does Gaga have a twinzies?!

Also, WHO THE FUCK is Doda? MTV claims she's a Polish pop star (unfortunately, she doesn't have a Wikipedia page that I can find), but I really just think she's an equally tranny-ish Lady Gaga rip-off - at least, based on this picture of her arriving at the MTV Europe VMAs:

Don't you think? I mean, she's got a man-face and an aversion to pants. That's pretty Gaga-ish.

+ Photo courtesy of Monsters and Critics

Germany, you so crazy.

So the MTV Europe Music Video Awards in Berlin are apparently happening right now; if you're really pressed, you can follow what's happening on the show's live blog.

But I don't really care about who wins or loses, because I don't really give a shit about what Europeans think. I do, however, care about what people look like while attending this thing. So here, have some quick thoughts:

+ Does Katy Perry only clean up nice when she's hosting an event or something? Because she actually looks quite pretty here. I'm shocked.

+ Are we COMPLETELY SURE that the lead singer of Tokio Hotel, Bill Kaulitz (the one with the weird mohawk thing), is a dude? Because he's REALLY making a strong case against himself.

+ Pete Wentz ... is just awful. So awful. Can Ashlee Simpson take away his make-up already? Cure him of this crack-like addiction? That'd be great.

+ Why is the Hoff wearing a sequined blazer? ...

+ ... And why does he match with Leona Lewis's similarly sequined capri pants and corset belt? Germany does weird things to people's fashion sense, man.

+ Photos courtesy of Monsters and Critics

Fashionz and thingz.

It's that time again, friends - weekly fashion round-up. Let's jump into it, shall we?

1. Dear Stacey Dash, you are 43. I have no words to describe your body, except for, "HOLY CRAP GET 'EM GIRL" etc.

2. Dear Whitney Port, your legs are so skinny in this picture. You also look slightly bowlegged. Should I expect some kind of sob story regarding your anatomy in an upcoming episode of "The City?" Just a thought.

3. Dear Sheree from "The Real Housewives of Atlanta," you're looking pretty mannish in that floor-length dress/awkward corset thing. Like a football player. I doubt this is helping those rumors about you being an undercover woman-lover.

4. Dear Mariah Carey, you look ... like a non-crazy person here. I am proud. You left Nick Cannon at home, right?

5. Dear Eliza Dushku, please, always continue to be awesome. I never thought someone could pull off being a zombie Bonnie for Halloween, but I'm happy it was you.

6. Dear Dita, I don't really know what to say about this leather suit except to praise you and your crazy dominatrix fashion sense. So much love. So, so much.

+ Photos courtesy of OMG! Yahoo

Swagger like us, etc.

You know, it's been a while since M.I.A., my long-lost idol, has been out and about. I guess having a baby will do that to you.

Here's the fam:

Here's Ikhyd:

But anyway, M.I.A. was at two different events this week, and it's good to know she's back to her wacky, stupidly dressed hijinks:

First at the launch party for Jimmy Choo's line of shoes at H&M:

And then at a fashion show for the CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund finalists:

Crazy trick. Sharks, fake nails and thigh-high leather boots? I am so down.

+ Photos courtesy of Papermag, BlogCDN, OMG! Yahoo

Musing up a storm.

Although I basically just dress like a slob and wear too much flannel and sneakers, I can appreciate some solidly unexpected details in clothes every now and then.

Like some colorblocking.

Or a mesh back.

Or some flashy trim.

Basically, all of Insight's Fall 2009 collection is pretty fine by me. But I'm still pretty torn on this:

I just can't decide if it's awesome ... or utterly absurd. Yes, I sometimes find that there's a distinction between the two.

+ Photos courtesy of Karmaloop, Nasty Gal Vintage