Saturday, February 20, 2010


So I made my boyfriend watch "The Departed" for the first time last night, and he didn't like it. We already argued over why he couldn't get down with what I consider one of Martin Scorsese's best works, but whatever. No matter. All I'm currently concerned with is the depths of Leonardo DiCaprio's hotness, which I saw in "Shutter Island" Thursday night and all over the Internet recently.

Exhibit A: Leo looking dapper at the NY premiere of "Shutter Island." I'm liking the tan. I'll overlook the bloat. Don't care, I can sympathize!

Exhibit B: So gracious when interacting with Scorsese at the Giorgio Armani event honoring the director! So polite! So charming! I'm a big fan of manners. And being caressed lovingly by the former Jack Dawson.

Exhibit C: At the Berlin Film Festival, is that a sly smile, hinting at some kind of secret that only we would share? Erotic.

P.S. Uhhh, why was Robert Buckley from "One Tree Hill" at the NY premiere of "Shutter Island?" I don't understand. If someone as un-famous as him is getting invited to these events, WHY CAN'T I? Fuck your velvet rope!

P.S.S. Is the jacket Ben Kingsley wore to the Berlin Film Festival ... sequined at the bottom? Only such an awesome man could pull that shit off.

+ Photos by Yahoo! Movies

Hipster interests!

Opening Ceremony is known for their collaborations with high-profile industry names - Bass shoes, Chloe Sevigny, etc. - and they recently launched a new line with Levi's, which I ... have immediately begun to covet.

Corduroys + dumb colors + unisex fits = Stupid shit I like. I fundamentally disagree with the prices, obviously, because if I lived near a not-shitty thrift store, I could probably find these things for cheaper. But isn't that always how it is? Dumb companies making fake vintage clothes I want? Yeah, that sounds about right.

+ Photos courtesy of Opening Ceremony

Maybe this is why Fall Out Boy broke up?

Oh, Pete Wentz.

If only this picture were ALWAYS true and not just a cheap gimmick during your Clandestine Industries show at New York Fashion Week. If only ...

+ Photo courtesy of OMG! Yahoo

Cover that weave! Economically.

As someone who was brought up Muslim, and therefore whose religion dictates that women cover their hair, I'm used to this.

I am not, however, used to small slips of fabric that are used for that purpose costing about $200. Why would you pay that much money for a fake turban? So fucking retarded.

... Retarded.

+ Photos courtesy of BBC, Ssense

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Men with facial hair are often better than not.

I feel like hipsters have stolen mustaches and beards, but I don't care. I find this picture from the Los Angeles premiere of "The Wolfman" totally charming.

Don't you feel like Anthony Hopkins and Hugo Weaving just compliment each other on their facial hair all day?

ANTHONY: Hugo, you look smashing.
HUGO: No, Anthony, YOU look dashing.
ANTHONY: Dashing?
HUGO: Smashing!
IN UNISON: We're English!

OK, seriously. Cabin fever. ALL OVER THE PLACE. Anyway, Benicio del Toro was there, too.

Suspiciously clean-shaven, though. I'm guessing he's not in the beards-r-coolzies club.

+ Photo courtesy of OMG! Yahoo

UGH, to the tune of a round-up.

When it rains, kids, it pours fucking stupid, retarded news that makes me want to take a wrench to the world's head. Ummm, yeah, that much anger. Believe me.

So here are today's most angst-causing news items:

1. Fashion designer Lee Alexander McQueen kills himself. I don't like explaining suicides, because I don't think they make sense, but you can Google around and try to figure out why he took his life. I don't know what to say, really; he was amazingly talented and great at making insane high-fashion shit, the kind that my boyfriend hates. Like this:

And those shoes that Lady Gaga brought mainstream attention to by wearing in the video for "Bad Romance:"

SO yeah, depressing.

2. Rihanna releases her video for "Rude Boy."

The song is kind of annoying and the video doesn't really go anywhere. If I wanted to watch someone shake their butt against a backdrop of annoying colors, I'd just watch the video for "Video Phone."

Also, I similarly don't enjoy these pictures from the video Alicia Keys and Beyonce are shooting for "Put It In a Love Song" down in Rio de Janeiro.

Nothing they are wearing is flattering. At all.

3. Big shocker, Americans don't understand serving sizes. I'm sorry, but I don't see why this warrants a full story by the New York Times. As a country, we're obese and too lazy to read - and follow - serving sizes and portion control. We eat shit like this, come on.

I'm guilty of that too - thankfully, NOT of eating the Craz-E Burger - but like ... how much does the U.S. government really need to dumb shit down for people? Just read the back of the fucking box. Done.

4. Tom Cruise inks deal for "Mission Impossible 4." Who keeps commissioning these films? Like, I understand that the third one made double its budget, but it was AWFUL. I guess I'm just really sick of Tom Cruise's SO SERIOUS face.

I think he looks constipated. You agree, don't lie.

5. Lil Wayne's sentencing on gun charges gets delayed because he has to have emergency surgery on his tooth. I'm sorry, what? I would love to get out of shit and blame it on my grill.

No, really, I would love to just HAVE Lil Wayne's diamond-crusted teeth. Imagine how much that shit could go for on the black hoodrat market. Umm, that wasn't racist.

6. More proof that home-schooling is a bad idea: Horrible father locks his daughter in the bathroom for months because she failed a test and supposedly stole food. I really do think most people should be executed.

7. Taylor Swift slams down a cool $2 million on a swanky penthouse in Nashville. I don't hate the girl, but fuck that shit. Look at this interior.

This is NOT OK. I could write songs about high school! My experiences were lame, too! SOMEONE GIVE ME MONEY.

8. And lastly, Vanessa Hudgens and I have the same shoes.

Does that mean we can share Zac Efron? That'd be great, kthx.

+ Photos courtesy of Oodora, OMG! Yahoo, New York Daily News, Scrape TV, Starpulse

I'm trying to see somebody wear these. Like, right now.

I don't mind sparkly things. Or mesh things. Or lace things. But really, all of them at once ... in one fashion line? Too much! Just too much!

So yeah, Costume Dept.'s summer 2010 line? It's kind of giving me a headache. Also, so much money ... for such little fabric.

+ Photos courtesy of Karmaloop, 80s Purple

Pretty soon my roommate will start looking like McNuggets.

Still too much snow on the ground for my liking. Wanted McDonald's really bad today. This shirt didn't help:

Doesn't it look like the Hamburglar?!

Or maybe I'm just plagued by cabin fever. Either is an option.

+ Photos courtesy of Nasty Gal Vintage, I'm Not Feeling You

Monday, February 8, 2010

Just don't call it Snowtorious B.I.G.

It's Monday night. I've been snowed in since Friday afternoon. I'm so done with this bullshit blizzard thing ... oh, wait. More is coming tomorrow. AWESOME.

The only way I've managed to stay sane is TV and the Internet. So basically, I'm doing nothing different than I would have done if there weren't snow outside. I'm just more antsy and frustrated. Go figure.

Anyway, here's the things that have kept me captivated these past few days. I really want to blow my brains out. Cabin fever, etc.

1. Michael Jackson's doctor charged with involuntary manslaughter. This was bound to happen eventually, and I wouldn't be surprised if the same thing happened to anyone associated with Brittany Murphy, as her autopsy proved she basically died from pneumonia. In other news, could someone kill me to rid me of this winter? Thanks.

2. Back in September, "Project Runway" winner Christian Siriano designed a spring 2010 shoe line for Payless Shoe Source. No one ever thought the really high-fashion ones, like these, would actually get sold, except, OH HEY, they'll be in select Payless stores in early March. I'm gunning for these, which will be around $79.99 each:

Whatever, I don't care about your judgments, fuck you guys.

3. The Washington Post ran an opinion piece about a week ago that was all about how in this tough economic time, more people are haggling for bargains. I'm sorry, maybe this is just because my parents are foreign and bartering is like, WHAT IRANIANS DO, but is this really surprising to people? Of course you ask for discounts and lower prices on things. It's called being crafty, Post writers. Look into it. MAYBE IT WILL HELP YOU SAVE THE INDUSTRY IN WHICH I WORK.

4. So who knew, but Christina Hendricks wears glasses.

Update your sexy librarian fantasies, people. Pretty sure she just changed the game. Also, did anyone else hear about this controversy regarding The New York Times and how they may have distorted a photo of Hendricks from the Golden Globes to make her seem wider and larger than she actually is? Real slick, guys.

5. It's already February, which means that Jean Paul Gaultier's collection for Target is only a month away - it will hit online and stores March 7. You can see the collection's whole lookbook here, but I'm pretty much set on these specific outfits: The trenchcoat on the left in the first picture and the dress and coat in the middle of the second picture.

Give it up to me, etc.

6. According to some new study, abstinence-only education has begin to show signs of working among youth, specifically in African American students in sixth and seventh grade over two years. Maybe I'm just skeptical, but is this really where our country is headed? Abstinence-only education is stupid and short-sighted, and last time I checked, isn't our teen pregnancy rate on the upswing? Kids are going to have sex, just give them condoms and a banana and send them on their way. It sucks, but it's true. Deal with it, Christian parents.

7. Plus, people are going to pregnant if they wear shit like this. HOW COULD THEY NOT? It's basically a slutty embodiment of business in the front ...

... party in the back.

Impressive, I'd say.

8. Pete Wentz kind of announces the end of Fall Out Boy in some horrendously written and grammar-less statement, which includes gems like this:

as much as i dont have a solo project, i also cant predict that id ever play in fall out boy again. not due to personal relationships as much as a band we grew apart. in this statement id like to include there is the possibility that fob will play again with out me or i will be a part of it when everyone is on the same page.

Silly me, I thought Wentz's solo project was fathering awfully named children, making out with dudes and getting tramp-stamps.


9. And lastly, trailers for "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps," "MacGruber" and "Brookyn's Finest" have been giving me headaches. They ALL look awful, even though the sequel to "Wall Street" would be fantastic without the Shia. I mean, anything that could recreate GREED IS GOOD is fine with me, but ... the LaDouche isn't cutting it for me.

+ Photos courtesy of Lucky, Dlisted, Hot Beauty Health, Patricia Field, YouThoughtSo