What's love got to do with it?

Stories like this should make me happy, but end up making me depressed instead. Three wedding ceremonies? Hundreds of thousands of dollars spent? A lifetime of security and wealth? To quote Dane Cook, I WANT THAT.

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So ... do any old men out there need a fiesty blogger to keep them company? I'm not pitching prostitution, necessarily ... just ... companionship. (Which is pretty much the nice, classifieds word for "whore.)

Besides, if anyone gets too fresh, I can just attack them with these. I think that will really be a solid defense. Old men have brittle bones; I'm sure I'd be fine.

Inflatable Boxing Gloves, $24

+ Photo courtesy of Urban Outfitters