Tuesday, September 8, 2009

"Throw it in the backseat of somebody's car, and then you've got Taylor's look!"

Labor Day Weekend kicked my ass (not in a good way), but it did provide me with a few gems that made those three days not so fucking awful:

1. Raekwon's much-anticipated, finally released "Only Built 4 Cuban Linx ... Pt. II" is really, really good. As in, the epicness of first single "House of Flying Daggers" has been stuck in my head for days, good.

2. Demi Moore threatening to sue Perez Hilton. I don't really agree with her and husband Ashton Kutcher's claims that he's a "pornographer" for posting pictures of her 15-year-old daughter Tallulah ...

... but his existence and hypocrisy pretty much infuriates the fuck out of me. And I feel like Demi isn't about to take shit from anyone; the bitch will use her cougar claws to rip out your FACE.

3. SNL fired two castmates before the new season premieres Sept. 26 - Casey Wilson and Michaela Watkins. Since I can't remember anything the two of them ever did, I'm pretty sure it's safe to assume they weren't funny or at all significant. The only thing that comes to mind with Wilson is that awful cougar talkshow sketch, and with Watkins ... yeah, I got nothing. Also, some Google-ing informed me that Wilson once mocked Christina Hendricks from "Mad Men" ...

... which is like ... blasphemy.

4. The latest episode of "The Rachel Zoe Project" was hyped on Bravo's website with an online tutorial about how to dress like Zoe's styling assistant, Taylor (that's Tay-Tay to you and me, friends). Since I adore her - and her constantly pissed-off expression and total ambivalence toward rubbing shoulders with celebrities day in and day out - this was pretty helpful for my life. I die. Seriously, all I want to do is learn how to master this expression.

It's basically me, but cattier, blonder and with far better clothes.

6. Patricia Field got her hands on those fucking amazing pyramid-studded sunglasses that Rihanna wears in the "Run This Town" video (admittedly, I slammed that shit when it first came out, but now it's kind of grown on me; unsurprising) ...

... and I don't give a fuck about how I never wear sunglasses because of my really shitty eyesight. I NEED these glasses.

Whomever wants to contribute the $350 I would need to buy them, that would be much-appreciated; thanks. These are needed for the betterment of society/aiding in my complete transition to hyper-accessorized hoodrat. I'M NOT KIDDING.

+ Photos courtesy of The Daily Mail, TV Worth Watching, Bravofan, Patricia Field

1 comment:

  1. Re:

    2) What the hell is up with that kid's face? I'm all for underage sluts, but she looks like Jay Leno.

    6) If you actually got those absolutely fucking retarded sunglasses, I might accidentally mistake you for Rihanna and have no choice but to Chris Brown your face in. Just sayin'.