Friday, September 25, 2009

Low-budget Angelina Jolie wanna-bes NEED NOT APPLY.

Also - referring to my last post - whenever Katie Couric finally disappears from this Earth (don't worry, I'm working on it), I would really like her to take Megan Fox with her. She's going to be on the next cover of Nylon - this fashion magazine which I kind of love but also kind of hate because of their poor cover choices, like Kristen Stewart and Lily Allen ...

... and I'm really resenting the fact that this will soon be arriving in my mailbox.

I also resent the fact that Fox blabs in all of her interviews about how shocked she is that she's famous: "I think that I'm really overexposed. ... I don't want to be in magazines every week and on the Internet everyday." Bitch, REALLY? Because I'm pretty sure you probably sucked Michael Bay's dick to get where you are today and now enjoy flaunting your body all over both magazines AND the Internet in order to get more attention for yourself. Thankfully, "Jennifer's Body" bombed and only made $6.8 million its first week, but what kind of woman who doesn't want to be noticed constantly makes faces like this?

So, please trick, disappear. No one will miss you. Nerdy fanboys will find another slore to masturbate to, or they'll just return to the original Angelina. Maybe Brian Austin Green would be bummed for a little while, but I'm sure he can find another badly tattooed skank to feel on his dick on public.

In fact, I may just volunteer. He WAS David Silver, after all.

+ Photos courtesy of Access Hollywood, Just Jared, Dlisted, Celebrity Catch

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