Why is every vaguely famous person in the world having babies?! That kind of sudden influx of celebrity spawn horrifies me. Case in point:
1. Bethenny Frankel finally confirms she's pregnant, and that's part of the reason why she won't be coming back for the third season of "Real Housewives of New York City." My heart breaks; she was the only good part of that shitshow. Bitch told off Kelly Bensimon!
I love her for that. Kelly sucks. Anyone remember this? I'm pretty sure she's delusional.
2. Angelina and Brad visited some orphans in Jordan. Umm, does this mean they'll finally add a member of my people to their child army? Can they ditch Jordan, come to Washington, D.C.'s suburbs and pick me up instead? Kthx.
3. Kim Kardashian again talks about how much she wants a baby by the time she's 30. BITCH NO. I really fear for how large her boobs and butt will become with another person growing inside of her. I mean, look at her now:
Literally, I'm horrified.
P.S. Bitch I hate you I want your body.
+ Photo courtesy of Dlisted