Current obsessions!

Dear Santa,

It's now December. That means it will soon be time for Christmas, and even though I'm technically a Muslim, you should bring me these lovely/hilariously fugly/however I still love them gifts anyway:

Dolce Vita Melrose Buckle + Zip Booties, $250


Sam Edelman Joss Boots, $180


Urban Renewal Ruffle Shoulder Bodycon Dress, $58

I promise I'm not a terrorist. Please bring me free things, not coal. Unless it's coal ... that's already been turned into a diamond. You get my drift?

Yearningly,

- Me.

+ Photos courtesy of ShopBop, Revolve Clothing, Urban Outfitters

In bizarre outfit news ...

I didn't really like Rihanna's new album, "Rated R" - it's not that I'm going to blame her for being angry and frustrated about what happened to her with Chris Brown, but the album is full of overblown self-confidence that's basically really annoying. However, her music videos have continued being hilarious, mainly because she wears a pirate eye-patch in the one for "Wait is Over" ...



... and will apparently be wearing these get-ups in the one for "Hard" ...



Not bad, I don't think. Not as great as Lady Gaga or anything -


- but Riri's getting there.

+ Photos courtesy of The Superficial, PopSugar

Dee-lishis.

Dear Christina Hendricks,

Hate the gloves. Love the boobs.


Extra-adoringly,

- Me.

+ Photo courtesy of Dlisted

How much do you think Kel weeps over his career?

Also, I keep watching this. I'm not sure why, because it's not THAT hilarious? But it's funny enough for a couple of viewings and I'm bored at work.



Plus, this week's SNL is hosted by Blake Lively, with performances from Rihanna. Given Rihanna's penchant for wearing things like this ...


... and this ...


... I'm down for watching and hoping for some Janet Jackson-like waldrobe malfunctions.

I will not, however, be tuning into Chris Brown's interview on "20/20" tonight. Honestly, I just don't give a fuck about what he has to say anymore - he's done so much damage-control that I'd rather people just refuse to interview him any longer. Like, I can understand journalistic integrity and objectivity and wanting to give everyone a chance to tell their side of the story, but like, shit. Just let it go! At this point, we're just going to drag the damn story out forever.

/End rant.

+ Photos courtesy of OMG! Yahoo

Iranians, we love to be in love.

The Washington Post has been doing this weekly series where they write about unlikely love stories and local weddings, and like a sappy romantic, I of course read them every time they run. And this time, I was pleasantly surprised to find that this week's installment is about two Iranians falling in love and giving it a go with a third marriage.

Yay, compulsive romantics! That's basically my people in a nutshell - we got Rumi and Hafez, we're set. Well, we may also be defined by that whole Islam thing. Oh, and the douche-y government. Just ignore the last part, I guess.

Some newz, some thangz.

So because I've spent four hours so far at work today doing absolutely nothing, it's time for a daily news round-up. Mainly so I don't get bored enough to start playing with fire or something.

1. Iran moves to ban allowing women to wear make-up during television broadcasts. You know, cuz lipgloss is really what's holding Iran back from worldwide domination. Ugh, religion is the WORST. Way to make me embarrassed for my country, clerics.

2. Grammy nods are out: Beyonce has 10 nominations ...

P.S. Though I am using this picture from "Video Phone," I find the "Reservoir Dogs"-referencing intro offensive to people that actually like "Reservoir Dogs." That is all.

... Taylor Swift has eight, some other people have some other ones. I just really don't care about the Grammys anymore - does anyone? They seem like the latest awards show in terms of recognizing what's hip/trendy/being listened to, and if you look at the full nominee list, you'll see what I'm talking about. Basically, YAWN.

3. The Washington Post wrote this feature about this British artist, Willard Wigan, who makes sculptures so tiny they can fit in the eye of a needle - like, literally.


Probably one of the most interesting arts stories I've read in a while, AND, the pictures are pretty. That's essentially all the mental stimulation I need.

4. ABC nixes yet another performance from the hip-thrustingly-gay Adam Lambert in fears that he'll recreate the male-orgy that was his performance at the American Music Awards recently. Is this really necessary? ABC is the same channel that showed "The Drew Carey Show" for years on end. I'm pretty sure Carey's COMPLETE UNFUNINESS is way more offensive to people than some homoeroticism. Or maybe I'm just underestimating the bigotry in America. Whichever.

5. Kristin from "The Hills" admits that her maybe-relationship with Justin Bobby wasn't "romantic."


How is that even possible? He drove to Las Vegas for her! Oh contrived reality television shows. You make me happy.

+ Photos courtesy of Blogspot, Wordpress, MTV

Absurdity, feathers, hot mess.

I don't even need to say a damn thing. Just look at this shit and laugh.

Feather Cape with Brooch, $39

After all, it's what I did.

+ Photo courtesy of Forever 21

Slutting it up, now with media commentary.

So I normally read Ed2010, this website that gives out advice about getting into the magazine business and often posts WhisperJobs or other notices of job openings in the industry, and though I've never applied to anything through the website, it's still interesting to look at once in a while to see what's open out there. And every so often, Ed2010 staffers write little how-to pieces on how to start freelancing, better your resume and - most recently - "What You Gain from Losing Your Job."

What gems did I learn from this piece? That you can travel and volunteer after losing your job, yay! I don't mean to sound harsh - being unemployed right now would certainly fucking suck - but I kind of hate "stories" like this, which give out this falsely hopeful advice. Losing your job would suck a dick. No amount of helping others would make that suckiness stop sucking. Maybe I'm a heartless bitch, but hey, it is what it is.

In other news, my old standby for what to do if I lose my job is still turning tricks. Plus, since Nasty Gal Vintage just added a crapload of new clothes, I got a new outfit all picked out. Lo and behold:

Caged Zipper Dress, $48


Jeffrey Campbell Gallop Stiletto, $124

Oh yeah. If Miley Cyrus can get away with dressing up like Julia Roberts from "Pretty Woman" for her 17th birthday, then I'm sure I can make a life out of it.

+ Photos courtesy of Nasty Gal Vintage

Remember that Fall Out Boy lyric about how they had "such good fashion sense" ... really?

All I can think of when I look at this picture, which was taken after Ashlee Simpson's debut in "Chicago" on Broadway, is, "Morticia and Gomez go emo."


Poor Addams family. To be mimicked in such a way is strongly disrespectful, no? Wednesday would have never stood for this shit.

+ Photo courtesy of OMG! Yahoo

Uhh, pass.

I'm normally pretty down with stupid jewelry - give me studded bracelets, gaudy doorknocker earrings and two-finger rings, and I'm down. In fact, you can go ahead and guess that I own all those things, and you'd be correct. Hold your judgments, thx.

But I find something inherently unsettling about the new line jewelry designer Delfina Delettrez put together for Opening Ceremony - I don't know if it's the creepy anatomical designs or the staggering prices, yet either way, I'm a little skeeved.

Face Choker, $4,000


Teeth Bracelet, $2,610


Fist Bracelet, $2,890

+ Photos courtesy of Opening Ceremony

All the way until next September? Really?

Dear Kurt Sutter,

The season finale of "Sons of Anarchy" fucked up my life and broke my heart. Thanks a lot. Now I'm supposed to wait a year for more episodes of this crack-like TV substance? Awesome.

I fully plan on using this picture of Charlie Hunnam to dull my pain.


Oh, and this one when I'm feeling frisky.


Thanks for the casting choices (especially if you bring back more of Kenny Johnson),

Lovingly but resentfully,

- Me.

+ Photos courtesy of Yahoo! TV, TV Guide

I feel like Katy Perry has all this shit in her closet.

I feel like every time I log on to Topshop's website just to look around, I end up stumbling across shoes that are so inexplicably awful yet hauntingly memorable that I get these righteously fashion-obsessed headaches.

Priscilla Sandal, $250


Parisian Wedge, $270

Plus, accessories like this faux-rhinestone-encrusted headband aren't helping.

Stone Heart Headband, $100

Or, maybe that raging migraine has more to do with the three hours of sleep I got last night than Topshop's design prowess. Who knows? Anything's possible.

And now I'm watching "Rosemary's Baby" instead of going to bed. Fuck, I'm retarded.

+ Photos courtesy of Topshop USA

So, it's come to this:

In yet another round of cuts, The Washington Post is closing all of its national bureaus, shuttering its offices in Chicago, Los Angeles and New York and laying off some people. Awesome! I'm so excited about my future in journalism - especially when this comes on the heels of the Post cutting some online staff a few days ago after the print newsroom finally merged with the online one. Can Santa bring me another college degree this year, or maybe a master's in something useful for a government job? That'd be great.

Basically, this pretty much sums up my life.


Yup.

+ Photo courtesy of someecards

Today's worst moment.

Me: Bored at work. Listening to Lady Gaga's "Dance in the Dark" on my co-worker's iPod. Trying to pretend I don't like it when I secretly do.



What's that I hear? A sample taken from George Michael's "Careless Whisper," I think? I do some Google-ing. In my quest, I stumble upon this: A question on Yahoo! Answers about "Who is Benet Ramsey?" ... and I think to myself, REALLY? Am I truly so old at 22, and Lady Gaga's fans so young, that they don't know/remember who JonBenét Ramsey is?



You know, this murdered little girl that caused a media shitstorm when she was kidnapped and murdered in 1996 and ticked off A. tons of non-white parents whose own children had gone missing and received no attention because they weren't pretty or rich and B. anyone with a heart who would find it shocking that such a little girl was forced into those creepy child pageants by her parents and then ended up killed.

Do we really have such a bad national memory that today's kids and teens are utterly ignorant of the Ramsey thing? When I was growing up, that shit was EVERYWHERE - I was 9 when she died, and I remember details about the case being on all the broadcast news stations, "America's Most Wanted," everything. Plus, remember when people thought her killer had been caught - back in 2006, when John Mark Karr admitted to doing it, but it turned out that he was just a sick and twisted fuck who was lying for the media spotlight?

Ugh, for shame, America's youth. While I agree Ramsey's death received tons of media attention just because of her race and class, I still think it was a particularly awful thing to happen to a kid, and I'm surprised more people don't know about or remember her. As someone old enough to drink legally, I'm going to go drown my ancient-feeling sorrows and contempt for the common ignorant man (and Yahoo! Answers) ... maybe while listening to "Bad Romance." DON'T JUDGE.

+ Photo courtesy of PerfectPeople

BRAINDEAD.

OH, pictures.


Sometimes, you, friends, really are ...


... worth 1,000 words of verbal vomit.


I feel like these travesties of nature (Jeffrey Campbell's Obscene boots, $250 at Karmaloop) being burned into my brain on the day before Thanksgiving has truly filled me with revulsion toward both food AND shoes. Congratulations, Internet. I never thought that could be done. I SEE I HAVE MET MY MATCH.

P.S. Nevertheless, thanks for hooking me up with a picture of Rihanna at some in-store event where I can see both her boobs and underwear (through a wonderfully absurd dress, I might add), even though you and I are engaged in a bitter war right now.


I see that you, as the all-knowing World Wide Web, are smart enough to realize that nudity > everything else.

+ Photos courtesy of Karmaloop, GoFugYourself

The bitch is back, etc.

Hola, friends. It has been forever since we've talked. I've been busy, but I've missed you, hope you've been doing well, etc. - and here's some pictures to get this ball rolling again.

The American Music Awards were last night, and if you've been breathing this morning, you've already heard about how Adam Lambert humped a male dancer's face (uh, Prince and Davey Havok have been doing that for years, but whatever) and Jennifer Lopez fell while performing. Hilarity! But you know I'm all about the clothes, so here's my thoughts.

+ Pete Wentz, why are you dressing like a Goth stormtrooper? This is awful. Somewhere, George Lucas is weeping about your rampant use of pleather ... and are those knee-high boots? Foul.


+ Oh, Selena Gomez. You're so fucking boring. I'm not saying you should throw some titties out, but come ON. You're 17. Take some damn dressing risks. Also, your shoes look like you got them from Payless. You make more money than that; we all fucking know it.


+ It always scares me when I see pictures of Joe Perry, becuase I think I'm looking at the walking dead. This photo - and that hairstyle - ain't helping.


+ And, of course, to my final loves: Rihanna, who looked baller in this Marchesa dress and some bizarre bandage-inspired performance get-up ...


... and Shakira, who somehow managed to pull-off both a neon yellow dress and a black disco ball mini with some crucial amounts of delightful cleavage. Impressive, woman. Impressive.


+ Photos courtesy of OMG! Yahoo, The Superficial

These are some of my favorite things.

Bad music:



Ridiculous shoulders:

Serious Shoulder Dress, $38

Sagia Casteñada, who is in this new Pitbull video:



Yup. I'm just that trashy.

+ Photo courtesy of Nasty Gal Vintage

Rihanna's leg basically goes on forever.

So Riri's interview with Diane Sawyer was last week, and if you missed it, you can check out all five parts on YouTube - one, two, three, four and five. It's about 45 minutes total, and I'm pretty sure you can give up that little bit of your life to learn some juicy tidbits about her relationship with Chris Brown/how fucking idiotic he is.

But I'm more pleasantly surprised by how the world has returned to Riri's side recently - for example, she just won Glamour's Woman of the Year award - and she now seems to be thinking more about her outfits.

Like, no, this shit isn't stupendous. But it's somewhat interesting and architectural.


And look, in this one, I almost see her ladyparts! Really, that's all I need in my life at this point.


+ Photos courtesy of OMG! Yahoo, Gofugyourself

Santa Claus is coming to town.

Can I add these super trashy bras from Forever 21 to my Christmas list? I mean, they're obnoxious, sparkly and will anger my parents. What else do I need?

Glitz Beaded Bra, $17.80


Metallic Sequin Bra, $17.80

Or, on the complete opposite of the spectrum, I could ask for these silly, animal-inspired hats. Look, it's either be a whore or a child. There's no in-between with me.

Owl Pilot Hat, $26


Black Bear Pilot Hat, $26


Moose Pilot Hat, $26

+ Photos courtesy of Forever 21, Karmaloop

Oof, UO.

So, Urban Outfitters just added this T-shirt to their website today, and ...


... if you're like a humongous geek like me, you recognize that shirt as a fake one for Forks High School, which is the school in the "Twilight" books. And if you're luckily oblivious to "Twilight" stuff, well, there you go, I just informed you.

But my real qualm is this: I would expect this "Twilight"-inspired shit from Hot Topic, you know, because the store has this humongous section of their website dedicated to "New Moon" merchandise. But is anyone really going to buy a fake Forks High School shirt from Urban Outfitters? Especially a men's shirt? Bad call, hipsters. Bad call.

+ Photo courtesy of Urban Outfitters