I feel like Katy Perry has all this shit in her closet.

I feel like every time I log on to Topshop's website just to look around, I end up stumbling across shoes that are so inexplicably awful yet hauntingly memorable that I get these righteously fashion-obsessed headaches.

Priscilla Sandal, $250


Parisian Wedge, $270

Plus, accessories like this faux-rhinestone-encrusted headband aren't helping.

Stone Heart Headband, $100

Or, maybe that raging migraine has more to do with the three hours of sleep I got last night than Topshop's design prowess. Who knows? Anything's possible.

And now I'm watching "Rosemary's Baby" instead of going to bed. Fuck, I'm retarded.

+ Photos courtesy of Topshop USA