Sundays bore me.

Seriously, they do. Unless football is on, what is Sunday really good for? Basically nothing. All I'm doing is sitting here working through my DVR. These stories are the only things capturing my attention in any way. Until lunchtime. Lunchtime always has my attention.

1. Baz Lurhmann avoids talking about whether he's ACTUALLY working on "The Great Gatsby" film adaptation or not. I'm sorry, what? Word on the street was the main roles had already been cast - including Leonardo DiCaprio as Jay Gatsby and Carey Mulligan as Daisy Buchanan - and that the film would be shot in 3-D and NOT in New York City. But now Baz is kind of denying all of it. Great. Thanks. Wonderful.


All I want is more Leo, OK? What's wrong with that? Especially more tortured Leo, like he was in "Inception." My heart, it flutters! Oh, and I find it REAL disgusting that Kristen Stewart made more than Leo last year, by about $500K - $28.5 million compared to $28 million. That's more money than I'll ever see in my life, but I'm pretty sure Leo > everyone else.

2. Chef Mario Batali, who is good friends with Gwyneth Paltrow and collaborated with her on a 2008 cookbook and another upcoming one, says he thinks she was "playing nervous" onstage, like when performing at the Country Music Awards:



IF MARIO IS RIGHT, I'm super-bummed. I love Gwyneth and how she's wonderful at everything but I also love humanizing her, like maybe she was all nervous back in the day but through performing on "Glee" she's grown more confident, like she was on the Grammys!



So you know, like she's human and not a perfect superbeing. That would be cool (and I love this essay on Gwyneth, which explains why people hate her but shouldn't). You're killing me, Mario.

3. And lastly, Al Jazeera did a piece on the Mexican city of Juarez, where a shitton of women disappear, get raped and die on a regular basis. The city's been covered a lot in the media already, but Al Jazeera's story reminded me of how makeup company MAC had planned on releasing a Juarez-themed collection last year, in partnership with fashion company Rodarte, who had released a clothing collection based on the women of Juarez.


The lipsticks, eyeshadows and other cosmetics (some seen above) had names inspired by the city's violence, like "Ghost Town" and "Factory," and though MAC had said they would donate some of the profits to organizations serving the city, they eventually canceled the collection because of all the bad PR. The more I think about it now, I wish they had gone through with it - the problems in Juarez aren't getting any better, and wouldn't some money have helped? Any amount of money? I know ultimately it was in bad taste to have names that seemingly objectified the women, but given that the shithole is getting crappier by the day, I can't help but think that some money and attention is exactly what Juarez needs to finally change.

+ Photos courtesy of 3.bp.blogspot.com, latina.com

This is the part where I offer some opinions.

If you're trying to figure out what to do this weekend and have decided that spending on overpriced movie tickets and super-salty popcorn and humongous cups of soda is in the cards, please, let me guide your choices. I reviewed the three movies opening this weekend, and if you don't read them, I will kill you.


- Mars Needs Moms: So touching! So Disney! Starring Seth Green but with his voice swapped out for a small child's! Given that he's a grown-ass man playing a kid, I agree with that choice. Overall, a solid flick if you're feeling like a kid again.


- Battle: Los Angeles: Stuff blows up, people die, there are aliens, Aaron Eckhart has a really strong jawline. That's really all you need to know. Did I mention the explosions? And Eckhart's jawline? Because it's really chiseled.


- Red Riding Hood: I can only hope that everyone involved with this movie, except Leonardo DiCaprio, meets an untimely death. That's a drastic pronouncement, but seriously, the movie is terrible. So maybe I don't want them to die, but I DO want someone in Hollywood to get their shit together and stop funding everything that rips off "Twilight." Really, I more want Stephenie Meyer to die. That's more accurate.

+ Photos courtesy of daemonsmovies.com, netkushi.com, collider.com

Blergh.

A rapid rundown of things you should know about today:

1. I reviewed "Drive Angry" in 3-D, which came out last week and was pretty terrible. Why Nicolas Cage, why? How are you still bankrupt? Oh right because your most recent film was "Season of the Witch," which sucked a huge one but somehow made a profit. Because people are dumb. Really, really dumb.

2. SO DUMB, IN FACT, that George Lucas is going to release "Star Wars: The Phantom Menace" in 3-D in 2012. What have we done as a people to deserve such terribleness? Baz Luhrmann shooting "The Great Gatsby" in 3-D wasn't enough, we now have to suffer the terror of Jar-Jar swinging his dopiness around all screen, REALLY CLOSE to my face? Great. Thanks George Lucas. I hope Skywalker Ranch erupts into Waco-like flames.

3. Lastly, my favorite part of today came when Mos Def called out Usher's and Justin Bieber's weird, vaguely incestuous, kind of creepy mentorship relationship with this perfect tweet: "I heard Justin Bieber has a 10 inch dick, but its in his ass and belongs to Usher." Classy, sir. Classy. It's like this one time my boyfriend showed me a video of Mos Def being all sketchy and high at a record store.



How can you NOT love him? I imagine him and James Franco hanging out all the time, mimicking the high faces Franco made during the Oscars this weekend. So. Fucking. High.

+ EDIT: The boyfriend informs me this can't be Mos Def's real Twitter account, because a. Mos Def is often too high to understand how to use a computer and b. probably can't "type relatively coherent sentences." Fine - but whoever is posing as Mos Def is also hilarious.

Eye candy.

Few things are giving me joy today. So instead, I must take happiness from the nerdiest of places. Behold, my geekiness:

1. Official pictures of what the Harry Potter theme park is supposed to look like ARE NOW AVAILABLE. I now want to buy my ticket immediately.

Dumbledore's office. Fucking sweet.


A rollercoaster called "Flight of the Hippogriff." I'm down.


Hogsmeade ...


... and HONEYDUKES. Which means candy. Which means I'm fat. Oh well, no surprises there.


2. Also exciting? This list of the most anticipated movies of 2010. Some of these movies sucked ("Alice in Wonderland," I'm looking at you), but there are a few others I'm pretty psyched for:

Robin Hood, May 14. I don't know, I like Russell Crowe in things that look epic. "Gladiator" had a huge effect on me. Fuck you, deal with it.


Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, May 28. Am I actually excited about this movie? No. Will I go and heckle it mercilessly? Yes. I expected better of you, Jake Gyllenhaal.


The A-Team, June 11. Bradley Cooper and Sharlto Copley in one place? Yeah, I'll take it.


Inception, June 18. Leo + Christopher Nolan = Love.


Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1, November 19. Why do I have to wait this fucking long for this movie?


Tron Legacy, December 17. And for this one? Something is wrong with the world.


3. I'm no longer excited, since I have to wait so long for "Harry Potter" and "Tron Legacy." Great. I'm going back to my shitty day.

+ Photos courtesy of Yahoo Movies

Well, I just dunno.

I often have super-strong opinions about things. Like, how much I fucking hate Miley Cyrus for saying her dream boyfriend is Kurt Cobain. Bitch, you are retarded and like, two decades late.

But on these, I'm not so sure ... like, I understand their merit. But I'm also bummed.

1. James Cameron confirms he's going to update "Titanic" with 3-D effects and release the film in 2012, the 100th anniversary of the ship's sinking. Sigh. Why, James Cameron, why? I'm watching "Titanic" now on TNT and it's perfectly fine.


It's actually quite good. Is this just another attempt to get the No. 1 film in the world - like, have 3-D "Titanic" be No. 1, and then "Avatar" be No. 2, and then regular "Titanic" at No. 3? God, James Cameron, you're the worst.

2. I guess I'm late on this, but I didn't know that Christopher Nolan is actively working on a "Superman" film. Apparently it would be like "Batman Begins" and somewhat of a departure from all the previous "Superman" flicks, and I'm OK with that, because some of them are horrible (ahem, "Superman Returns"). But I just can't see the kind of dark, macabre tone from "Batman Begins" adapted to the shiny, staunchly uptight world of "Superman."


And yeah, I know that story also mentions that a third "Batman" film is still being discussed, but I want all Michael Caine and Christian Bale, all the time! I'm not even going to bring up Heath Ledger, cuz I'll weep. Yup, I feel the tears now.

3. I have the Jeffrey Campbell Tick, so I can't pretend that I totally hate these. But they're just ... so confusing.

Giggle Tick Shoe by Jeffrey Campbell, $200

So many cut-outs! So much pleather! I feel nauseous. And am determinedly not reaching for my credit card.

+ Photos courtesy of Fanpop, ObsessedwithFilm, Karmaloop

Jack + Rose 4-EVR.

Got my new issue of Nylon today. Has Zoe Saldana from "Avatar" on the cover.


It also included some good stuff, like the fact that Edun, this eco-conscious fashion line that Bono helped start (I know he kind of sucks, but keep reading), is creating a new make-up line for Sephora that will hit stores in May. RealStyleNetwork.com has more info on it; proceeds from the palettes will go toward the Bronx Zoo.


I'm down! The colors look pretty. I'm a sucker for pretty.

Other things I'm a sucker for: The idea that Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet could get back together and make all my childhood fantasies come true.


Yeah, yeah, GossipCop tears apart the rumors that Leo broke up Kate's marriage to second husband Sam Mendes. But I NEED this to be true. "Titanic" has to be real! Just not the part where Jack dies.


Fuck that part.

+ Photos courtesy of JustJared, RealStyleNetwork, OMG! Yahoo, Blogspot

NEVER LETTING GO. EVER.

So I made my boyfriend watch "The Departed" for the first time last night, and he didn't like it. We already argued over why he couldn't get down with what I consider one of Martin Scorsese's best works, but whatever. No matter. All I'm currently concerned with is the depths of Leonardo DiCaprio's hotness, which I saw in "Shutter Island" Thursday night and all over the Internet recently.

Exhibit A: Leo looking dapper at the NY premiere of "Shutter Island." I'm liking the tan. I'll overlook the bloat. Don't care, I can sympathize!


Exhibit B: So gracious when interacting with Scorsese at the Giorgio Armani event honoring the director! So polite! So charming! I'm a big fan of manners. And being caressed lovingly by the former Jack Dawson.


Exhibit C: At the Berlin Film Festival, is that a sly smile, hinting at some kind of secret that only we would share? Erotic.


P.S. Uhhh, why was Robert Buckley from "One Tree Hill" at the NY premiere of "Shutter Island?" I don't understand. If someone as un-famous as him is getting invited to these events, WHY CAN'T I? Fuck your velvet rope!


P.S.S. Is the jacket Ben Kingsley wore to the Berlin Film Festival ... sequined at the bottom? Only such an awesome man could pull that shit off.


+ Photos by Yahoo! Movies

2010, go AWAY!

So I've been away about three weeks; I figure it's time to get back to business. And because I'm stupidly masochistic, why not start with the three things that have irked me so far this weekend? OK, go!

1. Miley Cyrus announces that she's ending "Hannah Montana" after this fourth season to focus on more adult roles. What does that even mean? She's not a good actress. I don't need her polluting actual cinema. She's still a fucking child who raps on YouTube and dresses like a 12-year-old from 1986. My hopes aren't high for "The Last Song," obviously.



2. Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood get engaged. Awesome. I mean, she is the skankbag that broke up his marriage to Dita von Teese, so in a way, I'm grateful, because it means Dita now gets to date hot pieces like this, some French guy named Louis Marie de Castelbajac:


However, it also means that more videos like "Heart-Shaped Glasses" could occur, which would probably make me vomit up the fritter I just ate. Blueberry. Thank you, Amish market.



3. "Avatar" is on track to make more money than "Titanic," making it the highest-grossing film ever. Now, I didn't hate "Avatar" or anything? BUT I pretty much worship Leonardo DiCaprio, so I'm not down with this. Also, "The Dark Knight" > "Avatar," any fucking day of the week, so it's pretty lame that James Cameron will masturbate to his own success every night while thinking up stupid ideas for the "Avatar" sequel. The guy is old.


That's not a pretty picture.

However, all of these pale in comparison to this list The Wall Street Journal came up with: The 200 best and worst jobs of 2010, which ranks the professions and their starting, average and highest income levels. Where does newspaper journalist come in on the list? Yup, way down low:

184

REPORTER (NEWSPAPER)

$20,000

$35,000

$77,000

And that's behind other fantastic-sounding professions like:

156

DISHWASHER

$14,000

$17,000

$22,000

131

MAID

$15,000

$19,000

$29,000

122

VENDING MACHINE REPAIRER

$18,000

$30,000

$46,000

67

FORKLIFT OPERATOR

$20,000

$29,000

$45,000

And my personal favorite:

11

PHILOSOPHER

$33,000

$60,000

$105,000

MAN. If only I had known that a fucking degree in philosophy, one of the MOST USELESS OF MAJORS, would have served me better than four years spent learning how to write and edit, I probably would have toiled away arguing about the validity of stupid questions instead. What's the meaning of life? To never read the fucking WSJ ever again, and hence make my future as a newspaper reporter even more perilous. I'm shooting myself in the foot, but take that, Rupert Murdoch, you Australian douche!

+ Photos courtesy of OMG! Yahoo, MTV

James Cameron, what's up, player?

I keep thinking I'm going to hate "Avatar." And then I watch the trailer (the second one just leaked, and is below or linked to YouTube here) and kind of look forward to it again.



Finally, I just land on the idea that nothing James Cameron does can ever be as good as "Aliens"-


- or "T2" -


- or YES, EVEN "TITANIC" -


but I don't mind if he keeps trying.

+ Photos courtesy of IMDB, Photobucket, JamesCameron.org

Jack Dawson vs. James Cameron

Let's talk about how before "Inglourious Basterds" last night, they also showed trailers for "Avatar" and "Shutter Island." Because while I am wholly confident that "Shutter Island" will be fucking amazing ...



... and I still weep on the inside for its now-February release date, I don't know about "Avatar."



Granted, James Cameron is the man who made "The Terminator," "T2" and "Titanic" (all of which I probably love equally; don't judge me), but "Avatar" just looks goofy as fuck. And while the trailer tries real hard to make it majestic, I don't know if I buy it. I guess I'll have to wait until December to find out? But let's make this clear. I'm not paying to watch that shit (even though Sam Worthington, who was "Terminator Salvation," is a hot piece).


Internet piracy, here I come!

+ Photo courtesy LA Times

I'll never let go!

... Well, at least not until February, when "Shutter Island" is now coming out. The film was originally set for a November release, but the Hollywood Reporter dug up yesterday that it's been pushed back.

Lame! I was looking forward to the reunion of these two fine men to come sooner rather than later.


+ Photo courtesy of TV Guide