I think this is my last Golden Globes post. I promise!

Cuz Golden Globes coverage continued into today, that also means that MY coverage has continued into today. And by "MY coverage," I really mean I fawned over pretty pictures of celebrities at work. Yup, I work hard for the money. Whatever, I don't even care - it was a federal holiday and I still had to go into the newsroom. Not cool, guys. Not cool.

Anyway, here goes:

Kate Winslet: Girl, you so classy. You basically ooze elegance. I would like to one day grow up and be just like you, as in, be married to Sam Mendes, who directed "American Beauty," and still consider Leonardo DiCaprio, who you also had numerous sexy make-outs with, one of your bffs. Give it to me, thx.


Sofia Vergera: Hmmm. She's normally so hot on "Modern Family,' but there's something about this dress that is really underwhelming. Is it the bleh navy color? The unnecessary burgundy trim? I'm not quite sure, but it's kind of meh either way.


Halle Berry: Dear god, woman. You are so fantastically hot that my brain hurts just looking at you, AND your muscular back. Flaunt it! Also, is Gabriel Aubry at home with your kid? Way to flip that whole patriarchy thing on it's head! Ingenious.



Jon Hamm: "Mad Men" + a Unabomber-like beard = Dreamy.


Robert Downey Jr.: Oh, RDJ! Your poses are exquisite, and I'm a big fan - fucking obviously. If there's one former drug addict who I can get behind you, it's you, buddy.



+ Photos courtesy of OMG! Yahoo, The Superficial

Weekly hot bitch round-up.

So I haven't had Internet installed in my new apartment yet, which means my updates have been few and far between, as I'm sure you guys may have noticed. I'll try to make up for that today, firstly with this assortment of hot bitches I love/love to hate/want to hate but can't. You know the drill.

1. Halle Berry's family flew somewhere and landed somewhere. I don't really care about that. Instead, I honestly can't even comprehend this family's attractiveness (well, not the baby; that'd be creepy). But you get the idea.


2. Oh Shakira. Only your crazy, FOB-y self would rock dreads, knee-high patent boots and a spangly mini-skirt while performing at the MTV Europe VMAs. So absurd.


3. Why does Natalie Portman vex me so? I generally can't stand her, but in this rockabilly-themed photo shoot in V Magazine, I'm kind of into it. Maybe just because I like stupid hair and make-up. That's probably it.


4. How come Jared Leto looks younger now than he ever did as Jordan Catalano in "My So-Called Life?" I mean, I don't really give a fuck. Bitch is SO FINE. Plus, flannel and denim vests are my vices ...


5. Katy Perry just does such skanky things that I don't even have comments anymore. Really, woman? Light-up nipples?


And putting your boyfriend's name on your ass?


Sigh. My brain hurts.

6. Lastly, Taylor Swift is a crazy ex-girlfriend after my own heart by calling out Joe Jonas for being a cheating douchebag on "SNL" this weekend. Good form.



+ Photos courtesy of The Superficial, Dlisted, Popaholic, OMG! Yahoo, MTV

A perfect Storm (um, get the X-Men reference? YOU SHOULD).

Halle Berry, please teach me your secrets, both regarding how you look fucking hot as shit for being a 43-year-old mother ...


... and for keeping a man who is a decade younger than you.


I IMPLORE YOU. LET ME BE YOUR PROTEGE.

+ Photos courtesy of Egotastic!