Stomping around! Did you get that animal reference?

It's almost spring; I need new shoes; I'm constantly on the prowl. By "need," I mean, "want."

But because I'm sane, I just need people to know: I am not going to buy these. Like, ever.


Made by artist and designer Iris Schieferstein, the shoes throw both a goat's hoof and a shiny gold gun together into one fuggo entity. WHO WOULD EVER BUY THESE? I do not understand. If this is "art," I don't want to get it/spend money on it/keep looking at it/moving on. Also - chances are Lady Gaga will wear these in like, two weeks or something.

Similarly, I don't want these, either:

Jeffrey Campbell Flea Market Cork Platform, $120

I know the '70s have been back and everything, but can't we abandon those clunkers to Nixon and all the other crappy parts of that time period?

These, however, I will lovingly embrace into my future:

Jeffrey Campbell Buckle Up Wedge, $228

How can one designer make the former - so fug! - and the latter - so good! - in one fell swoop? Confusing, I know.

+ Photos courtesy of Pipeline, Nasty Gal Vintage, Free People