Can I add these super trashy bras from Forever 21 to my Christmas list? I mean, they're obnoxious, sparkly and will anger my parents. What else do I need?
Or, on the complete opposite of the spectrum, I could ask for these silly, animal-inspired hats. Look, it's either be a whore or a child. There's no in-between with me.
+ Photos courtesy of Forever 21, Karmaloop
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Oof, UO.
So, Urban Outfitters just added this T-shirt to their website today, and ...
... if you're like a humongous geek like me, you recognize that shirt as a fake one for Forks High School, which is the school in the "Twilight" books. And if you're luckily oblivious to "Twilight" stuff, well, there you go, I just informed you.
But my real qualm is this: I would expect this "Twilight"-inspired shit from Hot Topic, you know, because the store has this humongous section of their website dedicated to "New Moon" merchandise. But is anyone really going to buy a fake Forks High School shirt from Urban Outfitters? Especially a men's shirt? Bad call, hipsters. Bad call.
+ Photo courtesy of Urban Outfitters
... if you're like a humongous geek like me, you recognize that shirt as a fake one for Forks High School, which is the school in the "Twilight" books. And if you're luckily oblivious to "Twilight" stuff, well, there you go, I just informed you.
But my real qualm is this: I would expect this "Twilight"-inspired shit from Hot Topic, you know, because the store has this humongous section of their website dedicated to "New Moon" merchandise. But is anyone really going to buy a fake Forks High School shirt from Urban Outfitters? Especially a men's shirt? Bad call, hipsters. Bad call.
+ Photo courtesy of Urban Outfitters
Weekly hot bitch round-up.
So I haven't had Internet installed in my new apartment yet, which means my updates have been few and far between, as I'm sure you guys may have noticed. I'll try to make up for that today, firstly with this assortment of hot bitches I love/love to hate/want to hate but can't. You know the drill.
1. Halle Berry's family flew somewhere and landed somewhere. I don't really care about that. Instead, I honestly can't even comprehend this family's attractiveness (well, not the baby; that'd be creepy). But you get the idea.
2. Oh Shakira. Only your crazy, FOB-y self would rock dreads, knee-high patent boots and a spangly mini-skirt while performing at the MTV Europe VMAs. So absurd.
3. Why does Natalie Portman vex me so? I generally can't stand her, but in this rockabilly-themed photo shoot in V Magazine, I'm kind of into it. Maybe just because I like stupid hair and make-up. That's probably it.
4. How come Jared Leto looks younger now than he ever did as Jordan Catalano in "My So-Called Life?" I mean, I don't really give a fuck. Bitch is SO FINE. Plus, flannel and denim vests are my vices ...
5. Katy Perry just does such skanky things that I don't even have comments anymore. Really, woman? Light-up nipples?
And putting your boyfriend's name on your ass?
Sigh. My brain hurts.
6. Lastly, Taylor Swift is a crazy ex-girlfriend after my own heart by calling out Joe Jonas for being a cheating douchebag on "SNL" this weekend. Good form.
+ Photos courtesy of The Superficial, Dlisted, Popaholic, OMG! Yahoo, MTV
1. Halle Berry's family flew somewhere and landed somewhere. I don't really care about that. Instead, I honestly can't even comprehend this family's attractiveness (well, not the baby; that'd be creepy). But you get the idea.
2. Oh Shakira. Only your crazy, FOB-y self would rock dreads, knee-high patent boots and a spangly mini-skirt while performing at the MTV Europe VMAs. So absurd.
3. Why does Natalie Portman vex me so? I generally can't stand her, but in this rockabilly-themed photo shoot in V Magazine, I'm kind of into it. Maybe just because I like stupid hair and make-up. That's probably it.
4. How come Jared Leto looks younger now than he ever did as Jordan Catalano in "My So-Called Life?" I mean, I don't really give a fuck. Bitch is SO FINE. Plus, flannel and denim vests are my vices ...
5. Katy Perry just does such skanky things that I don't even have comments anymore. Really, woman? Light-up nipples?
And putting your boyfriend's name on your ass?
Sigh. My brain hurts.
6. Lastly, Taylor Swift is a crazy ex-girlfriend after my own heart by calling out Joe Jonas for being a cheating douchebag on "SNL" this weekend. Good form.
+ Photos courtesy of The Superficial, Dlisted, Popaholic, OMG! Yahoo, MTV
Hot tranny mess.
Come on, what else was I going to name a post dedicated to Lady Gaga's new music video for "Bad Romance?" Let's be accurate here, people.
P.S. Also, Gaga WOULD wear those Alexander McQueen shoes that Vogue UK blogged about. Such a crazy trick.
+ Photo courtesy of Vogue
P.S. Also, Gaga WOULD wear those Alexander McQueen shoes that Vogue UK blogged about. Such a crazy trick.
+ Photo courtesy of Vogue
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Getting down with threepeats.
So a few watchdog organizations - specifically and most vocally, the Parents Television Council - are up in arms over the fact that an upcoming episode of "Gossip Girl" is going to have a threesome. Episode name: "They Shoot Humphreys, Don't They?" Episode date: Nov. 9. Me: On the couch, frantically watching.
Now, I've heard that it's going to be Dan (Penn Badgely),
Olivia (guest star Hilary Duff)
and Vanessa (Jessica Szohr)
... the three most boring characters on the show. Potentially, then, this could be lame. Theoretically, though, anything that pisses off groups like the PTC is, in my opinion, fantastic.
Let the sexy times begin! And in honor of them, here's Britney Spears' latest single, "3." Didn't you know? Living in sin is the new thing!
Oh jeez, what a trashbox.
+ Photos courtesy of FashionIndie, TV Fanatic, Gossip Girl Insider
Now, I've heard that it's going to be Dan (Penn Badgely),
Olivia (guest star Hilary Duff)
and Vanessa (Jessica Szohr)
... the three most boring characters on the show. Potentially, then, this could be lame. Theoretically, though, anything that pisses off groups like the PTC is, in my opinion, fantastic.
Let the sexy times begin! And in honor of them, here's Britney Spears' latest single, "3." Didn't you know? Living in sin is the new thing!
Oh jeez, what a trashbox.
+ Photos courtesy of FashionIndie, TV Fanatic, Gossip Girl Insider
Does Gaga have a twinzies?!
Also, WHO THE FUCK is Doda? MTV claims she's a Polish pop star (unfortunately, she doesn't have a Wikipedia page that I can find), but I really just think she's an equally tranny-ish Lady Gaga rip-off - at least, based on this picture of her arriving at the MTV Europe VMAs:
Don't you think? I mean, she's got a man-face and an aversion to pants. That's pretty Gaga-ish.
+ Photo courtesy of Monsters and Critics
Don't you think? I mean, she's got a man-face and an aversion to pants. That's pretty Gaga-ish.
+ Photo courtesy of Monsters and Critics
Germany, you so crazy.
So the MTV Europe Music Video Awards in Berlin are apparently happening right now; if you're really pressed, you can follow what's happening on the show's live blog.
But I don't really care about who wins or loses, because I don't really give a shit about what Europeans think. I do, however, care about what people look like while attending this thing. So here, have some quick thoughts:
+ Does Katy Perry only clean up nice when she's hosting an event or something? Because she actually looks quite pretty here. I'm shocked.
+ Are we COMPLETELY SURE that the lead singer of Tokio Hotel, Bill Kaulitz (the one with the weird mohawk thing), is a dude? Because he's REALLY making a strong case against himself.
+ Pete Wentz ... is just awful. So awful. Can Ashlee Simpson take away his make-up already? Cure him of this crack-like addiction? That'd be great.
+ Why is the Hoff wearing a sequined blazer? ...
+ ... And why does he match with Leona Lewis's similarly sequined capri pants and corset belt? Germany does weird things to people's fashion sense, man.
+ Photos courtesy of Monsters and Critics
But I don't really care about who wins or loses, because I don't really give a shit about what Europeans think. I do, however, care about what people look like while attending this thing. So here, have some quick thoughts:
+ Does Katy Perry only clean up nice when she's hosting an event or something? Because she actually looks quite pretty here. I'm shocked.
+ Are we COMPLETELY SURE that the lead singer of Tokio Hotel, Bill Kaulitz (the one with the weird mohawk thing), is a dude? Because he's REALLY making a strong case against himself.
+ Pete Wentz ... is just awful. So awful. Can Ashlee Simpson take away his make-up already? Cure him of this crack-like addiction? That'd be great.
+ Why is the Hoff wearing a sequined blazer? ...
+ ... And why does he match with Leona Lewis's similarly sequined capri pants and corset belt? Germany does weird things to people's fashion sense, man.
+ Photos courtesy of Monsters and Critics
Fashionz and thingz.
It's that time again, friends - weekly fashion round-up. Let's jump into it, shall we?
1. Dear Stacey Dash, you are 43. I have no words to describe your body, except for, "HOLY CRAP GET 'EM GIRL" etc.
2. Dear Whitney Port, your legs are so skinny in this picture. You also look slightly bowlegged. Should I expect some kind of sob story regarding your anatomy in an upcoming episode of "The City?" Just a thought.
3. Dear Sheree from "The Real Housewives of Atlanta," you're looking pretty mannish in that floor-length dress/awkward corset thing. Like a football player. I doubt this is helping those rumors about you being an undercover woman-lover.
4. Dear Mariah Carey, you look ... like a non-crazy person here. I am proud. You left Nick Cannon at home, right?
5. Dear Eliza Dushku, please, always continue to be awesome. I never thought someone could pull off being a zombie Bonnie for Halloween, but I'm happy it was you.
6. Dear Dita, I don't really know what to say about this leather suit except to praise you and your crazy dominatrix fashion sense. So much love. So, so much.
+ Photos courtesy of OMG! Yahoo
1. Dear Stacey Dash, you are 43. I have no words to describe your body, except for, "HOLY CRAP GET 'EM GIRL" etc.
2. Dear Whitney Port, your legs are so skinny in this picture. You also look slightly bowlegged. Should I expect some kind of sob story regarding your anatomy in an upcoming episode of "The City?" Just a thought.
3. Dear Sheree from "The Real Housewives of Atlanta," you're looking pretty mannish in that floor-length dress/awkward corset thing. Like a football player. I doubt this is helping those rumors about you being an undercover woman-lover.
4. Dear Mariah Carey, you look ... like a non-crazy person here. I am proud. You left Nick Cannon at home, right?
5. Dear Eliza Dushku, please, always continue to be awesome. I never thought someone could pull off being a zombie Bonnie for Halloween, but I'm happy it was you.
6. Dear Dita, I don't really know what to say about this leather suit except to praise you and your crazy dominatrix fashion sense. So much love. So, so much.
+ Photos courtesy of OMG! Yahoo
Swagger like us, etc.
You know, it's been a while since M.I.A., my long-lost idol, has been out and about. I guess having a baby will do that to you.
Here's the fam:
Here's Ikhyd:
But anyway, M.I.A. was at two different events this week, and it's good to know she's back to her wacky, stupidly dressed hijinks:
First at the launch party for Jimmy Choo's line of shoes at H&M:
And then at a fashion show for the CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund finalists:
Crazy trick. Sharks, fake nails and thigh-high leather boots? I am so down.
+ Photos courtesy of Papermag, BlogCDN, OMG! Yahoo
Here's the fam:
Here's Ikhyd:
But anyway, M.I.A. was at two different events this week, and it's good to know she's back to her wacky, stupidly dressed hijinks:
First at the launch party for Jimmy Choo's line of shoes at H&M:
And then at a fashion show for the CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund finalists:
Crazy trick. Sharks, fake nails and thigh-high leather boots? I am so down.
+ Photos courtesy of Papermag, BlogCDN, OMG! Yahoo
Musing up a storm.
Although I basically just dress like a slob and wear too much flannel and sneakers, I can appreciate some solidly unexpected details in clothes every now and then.
Like some colorblocking.
Or a mesh back.
Or some flashy trim.
Basically, all of Insight's Fall 2009 collection is pretty fine by me. But I'm still pretty torn on this:
I just can't decide if it's awesome ... or utterly absurd. Yes, I sometimes find that there's a distinction between the two.
+ Photos courtesy of Karmaloop, Nasty Gal Vintage
Like some colorblocking.
Or a mesh back.
Or some flashy trim.
Basically, all of Insight's Fall 2009 collection is pretty fine by me. But I'm still pretty torn on this:
I just can't decide if it's awesome ... or utterly absurd. Yes, I sometimes find that there's a distinction between the two.
+ Photos courtesy of Karmaloop, Nasty Gal Vintage
Oh Riri. BIG hug.
More No. 1 songs than any other artist this decade? REALLY?!
OK, so that's not the only thing that surprised me about this interview - I also didn't know how monotonous Rihanna's real voice is. However, I did find this pretty articulate, and I feel bad for her. Damn you Rihanna! Way to con me into paying attention to you when your album is about to come out. You marketing fiend.
P.S. Instant quote: "EFF LOVE!"
Yeah, Battlestar Galactica references!
I would love to be in the future.
Then wearing dresses like this one would be commonplace.
+ Photo courtesy of Nasty Gal Vintage
Then wearing dresses like this one would be commonplace.
+ Photo courtesy of Nasty Gal Vintage
THIS MORNING IS NOT STARTING WELL.
I rarely use this blog to trash people that aren't celebrities, but I was reading Bookworms with Ink this morning and couldn't stop my the wrath.
SO, I have to say: Getting huge blocks of ink tattooed on your body ...
especially that stupid fucking "burn burn burn" quote from "On the Road," IS ANNOYING AND REPETITIVE, as EVERY HIPSTER I KNOW has that fucking tattoo.
STOP IT.
/End bitterness.
+ Photo courtesy of LiveJournal
SO, I have to say: Getting huge blocks of ink tattooed on your body ...
especially that stupid fucking "burn burn burn" quote from "On the Road," IS ANNOYING AND REPETITIVE, as EVERY HIPSTER I KNOW has that fucking tattoo.
STOP IT.
/End bitterness.
+ Photo courtesy of LiveJournal
Rationalizing bad purchases is one of my many talents.
You know, I must admit, it was a lot easier to convince myself that these shoes - the Sam Edelman Zoe boot - were NOT AT ALL NECESSARY for my life when they weren't available anywhere.
But now they are. Like, on Lorisshoes.com. For $310. With a 20 percent off coupon that is waiting in my e-mail inbox.
WHY GOD WHY!!@!?
+ Photo courtesy of Lorisshoes.com
But now they are. Like, on Lorisshoes.com. For $310. With a 20 percent off coupon that is waiting in my e-mail inbox.WHY GOD WHY!!@!?
+ Photo courtesy of Lorisshoes.com
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
SO. GROSS.
I feel like two of my worlds - gossip and music - have collided in the form of Perez Hilton going as Lady Gaga for Halloween ... and I now hate both of them. Well, I already definitely hated Perez Hilton and only kind of hated Lady Gaga, but now it's full-fledged rage.
Holding a bag to my face to contain the vomit in 3 ... 2 ... 1 ...
+ Photo courtesy of Justin Timberlake (like, his website, unfortunately not him)
Holding a bag to my face to contain the vomit in 3 ... 2 ... 1 ...
+ Photo courtesy of Justin Timberlake (like, his website, unfortunately not him)
I have to deal with this crap for TWO MORE MOVIES?
So as the release date for "New Moon" steadily approaches - Nov. 20 seems far closer on this side of Halloween - more and more magazines are turning their attention to Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. And I must say, this photoshoot for an upcoming issue of Vanity Fair seems very poor, indeed.
Did they wrap Kristen Stewart in trash? In the eternal words of Minerva McGonogall, 10 points.
Is Robert Pattinson giving the camera his best "Who is this bitch looking at me, I'm turning on the FIERCE!" face? Take another 10 points.
So we've progressed to choking a bitch? TAKE ALL THE POINTS YOU WANT.
+ Photos courtesy of Dlisted
Did they wrap Kristen Stewart in trash? In the eternal words of Minerva McGonogall, 10 points.
Is Robert Pattinson giving the camera his best "Who is this bitch looking at me, I'm turning on the FIERCE!" face? Take another 10 points.
So we've progressed to choking a bitch? TAKE ALL THE POINTS YOU WANT.
+ Photos courtesy of Dlisted
Violence is MY answer.
Someone gave Kim Kardashian a black eye ...
... and it wasn't ME?!
How lame. All I want to do is beat her up for looking good in this Princess Jasmine costume and ruining all my love for the Disney character.
Is that so wrong?
+ Photos courtesy of People, CelebJihad (yup, that's a real website)
... and it wasn't ME?!
How lame. All I want to do is beat her up for looking good in this Princess Jasmine costume and ruining all my love for the Disney character.
Is that so wrong?
+ Photos courtesy of People, CelebJihad (yup, that's a real website)
Are we kindred accessories spirits?
I am convinced that Rihanna is obsessed with shiny things.
Why else would she pile on THIS GODDAMN MANY accessories?
Like, huge, gaudy necklace?
Chanel purse, and an obnoxiously large ring?
A belt ... sewn onto your skirt?
I don't even get it. It makes my brain hurt. Probably as much as her interview with Diane Sawyer on Thursday and Friday will. But FUCK YES I am going to watch that - AND Chris Brown's interview with Sway for MTV News on Friday. First time Rihanna discusses the Chris Brown beatdown, and Chris Brown yet again trying to talk his way out of it? Of course I'll be there.
+ Photos courtesy of The Superficial
Why else would she pile on THIS GODDAMN MANY accessories?
Like, huge, gaudy necklace?
Chanel purse, and an obnoxiously large ring?
A belt ... sewn onto your skirt?
I don't even get it. It makes my brain hurt. Probably as much as her interview with Diane Sawyer on Thursday and Friday will. But FUCK YES I am going to watch that - AND Chris Brown's interview with Sway for MTV News on Friday. First time Rihanna discusses the Chris Brown beatdown, and Chris Brown yet again trying to talk his way out of it? Of course I'll be there.
+ Photos courtesy of The Superficial
From Pineapple Express, to General Hospital?
When James Franco said he wanted to guest star on "General Hospital," I laughed it off. I found it humorous - you know, like jokes are SUPPOSED to be.
But then "General Hospital" released this picture of him, as a confirmation that the guest spot is actually going to happen.
And I cannot stop laughing. He looks so serious! So somber! So soap opera-like!
I wish I watched "General Hospital," so I could indulge in the Franco joy on Nov. 20. But alas, I do not. I am a "Young and the Restless" girl. I have to spend my weeknights watching something on the Soap.net channel, OK?
+ Photo courtesy of the LA Times
But then "General Hospital" released this picture of him, as a confirmation that the guest spot is actually going to happen.
And I cannot stop laughing. He looks so serious! So somber! So soap opera-like!
I wish I watched "General Hospital," so I could indulge in the Franco joy on Nov. 20. But alas, I do not. I am a "Young and the Restless" girl. I have to spend my weeknights watching something on the Soap.net channel, OK?
+ Photo courtesy of the LA Times
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
My people are OFFENDED.
Dear Jerry Bruckheimer,
I just watched this.
And ... fuck you. PRETTY SURE that Persians back in the day DID NOT HAVE English accents, or Asian-looking sluts they carried around to help them in "quests." OR JAKE GYLLENHAAL.
Die.
Loathingly,
Me.
I just watched this.
And ... fuck you. PRETTY SURE that Persians back in the day DID NOT HAVE English accents, or Asian-looking sluts they carried around to help them in "quests." OR JAKE GYLLENHAAL.
Die.
Loathingly,
Me.
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