Today's most offensive things.

Don't worry, there are a lot of them.

1. Diddy is worth more than any other rapper, which proves that the only thing needed to make a shitton of money is a. douchery and b. shitty rhymes. Seriously, have you listened to "Coming Home"? Because that song fucking sucks.



33 million hits? I hate people. So yeah, it blows that Diddy is lining his pockets with a cool $475 million while raping my eardrums (and I know that most of his money comes from his business ventures, but still). And how the fuck are Birdman and Dr. Dre each worth more than $100 million? Shouldn't Eminem be on this list, since he was one of the best-selling artists of the last decade, or is his exclusion further proof that rappers only make their money from their side ventures, not musical popularity? Blergh.

2. In other offensive movie news, the two films that are being made of Stephenie Meyer's last book in the "Twilight" series, "Breaking Dawn," will have a combined budget of about $263 million - and Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner will each pocket a cool $25 million. I don't know if that's per film or combined, but STILL, gross - and even worse is that Summit expects the films to pull in more than $1 billion. You know, if "acting" in the "Twilight" movies just consists of squinting, staring and acting like a general fucking lovestruck idiot, I could totally do that.


I mean, don't you think that's all that photo of Stewart and Pattinson is? And I would only do it for a cool $1 million. Call me, Summit.

3. I don't know how I missed this, but apparently White House crasher/former D.C. Housewife Michaele Salahi was going to be on the upcoming season of VH1's "Celebrity Rehab" - until she got kicked off. Tareq Salahi is now saying he's going to sue the show for kicking off his wife because of her medical condition, multiple sclerosis. I'm still not entirely convinced she's sick, but I REMAIN CONVINCED that they are fucking worthless people who despite making great TV are actually soulless douchebags. It's never been confirmed by Bravo if "Real Housewives of D.C." will come back for another season, but at this point, that's the only thing the Salahis can really do, right?

4. In a serious blow to my childhood, the Troll dolls, which were way popular back in the '80s and early '90s, have been revamped - basically now as Bratz doll-looking sluts. See:


If you remember them, the Troll dolls were chubby and awkward and had terrible hair and were often naked and basically WERE ME ...


... so the fact that they've been redone to look like complete prostitutes to appeal to today's children makes me upset. What, are all little girls whores now? We can't play with ugly toys anymore? Are the Garbage Pail Kids next? THE HORROR.

+ Photos courtesy of entertainment.ezinemark.com, Amazon.com, decencyisnotaluxury.wordpress.com

Good music? No? OK ...

Why is it that all the new songs released today suck? You can listen and judge for yourself, but ...

Miley Cyrus is getting nastier and skankier by the day, which isn't surprising but is still gross,



Christina Aguilera now has a child, so I'm pretty sure she shouldn't be making videos like this anymore (seriously? is that a gag-ball?),



and I miss the days Eminem was a good rapper - like, when he made fun of the aforementioned Aguilera - and didn't rap in that horrible sing-song rhythm that just makes him sound like a fucking goofball. I feel like this is supposed to be an older, more aged sequel to "Lose Yourself," but it's just not charismatic or catchy.



Is Eminem now destined to only rap well on other people's songs, like on Drake's "Forever" and Lil Wayne's "Drop the World?" So upsetting.

My last rage-fueled post ... at least for a couple of hours.

I have moments where I really, really like Lil Wayne, and more moments where I really, really like Eminem; he reminds me of a simpler time, like before it was 2010. This music video for "Drop the World" is a pretty solid demonstration of that breakdown.



Angry Eminem? Great. But this video is also filled with angry skater punks who seem more well-suited to a Rise Against video, and since this is Lil Wayne's track, I'm going to hazard a guess and say he thought such a group of hipster-ish youngsters would fit better with that whole him-becoming-a-rock-star thing. Negative, sir. Tim McIlrath wants his concept back.

P.S. He is more attractive than both of you. Enjoy your time in prison, Weezy.

Will the real Slim Shady PLEASE REAPPEAR?

I'm pretty embarrassed by my attraction to Drake - it's ONLY A LITTLE BIT, OK? - but I have no problems with admitting that he's a pretty awful rapper. For example, his song "Forever" with Kanye, Lil Wayne and Eminem is not, at all, good.

Drake, Kanye West, Lil Wayne & Eminem - New Music - More Music Videos

I mean, I'm definitely sure that Malcolm X would crawl out of the grave and beat Drake to death for comparing the two. "Labels want my name beside the X like Malcolm" - that shit is NOT ALRIGHT. The kid needs to learn some respect.

But lastly, the only thing this song really has going for it is the verse from Eminem - which, as my boyfriend pointed out last week, sounds like vintage, angry, white-trash Eminem, not the faux-Jamaican-accented lame-o who raps about Kim Kardashian.

Just go to 4:56 in the song, that's all you need from this LeBron James-helmed shitshow. Or watch the YouTube clip below that's just Em's verse. Whichever.

VMAs - Best Hip-Hop Video

So Eminem just won for "We Made You." That song is fucking AWFUL. Remember?

The only respectable thing about Eminem's acceptance speech is that he dedicated the win to Proof. I guess that's OK, cuz Proof is his dead best friend and all. But my god, that song is a travesty.

P.S. Kid Cudi is wearing a T-shirt with himself on it. Ugh!

Kid Cudi - New Music - More Music Videos