The Oscars are tomorrow, but the last week or so has been riddled with some other events, each of which had at least one picture that made me go, NO BABY JESUS NO! So here, have some rapidfire thoughts:
1. DATE: March 4. EVENT: 3rd Annual Black Women in Hollywood Luncheon. SUBJECT: Jada Pinkett-Smith.
Uh, what is going with this hair, exactly? Did Will just revert back into his "Fresh Prince" days and go all early-'90s on her? Cuz I'm really confused as to why someone, two decades after that time period, would still be rocking this ... "look?" Is that the right word here?
2. DATE: March 4. EVENT: 2010 Hollywood Reporter Oscar Nominee Reception. SUBJECT: Jeremy Renner.
STEP AWAY FROM MEL. Jeremy Renner, your career has not yet been tainted! "The Hurt Locker" is your first big break! Don't let Sugartits ruin it for you! Seriously, don't say anything about Judaism. They'd never find your body, after Mad Max is done hiding it.
3. DATE: March 4. EVENT: 3rd Annual Women in Film Pre-Oscar Party. SUBJECT: Michelle Rodriguez.
Not helping the lesbian rumors, Michelle. Not one bit.
4. DATE: March 5. EVENT: Film Independent Spirit Awards. SUBJECT: Taraji P. Henson.
Why yes, Taraji, I WOULD like to see your vag. Thanks for wearing a dress with a high-enough slit that this could be possible. I mean, it's a bad sign when Mariah Carey might even look classier than you.
Well, she's obviously wearing a dress from 1994 (it's too small for her, get it?!), but ... I'm sure you know what I mean.
+ Photos courtesy of Yahoo Movies