SO CLOSE. to the weekend.
All I plan on doing this weekend is organizing my makeup and watching "The X-Files," because BBC America shows reruns of them and it's the middle of the second season and HOLY CRAP so much stuff happens that season, mainly including Dana Scully/Gillian Anderson looking like a total babe:
... while often rocking shoulder pads.
Anyway, I digress. Here's the rundown of daily crap to get you into the weekend:
1. Jimmy Fallon gets his own Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavor, featuring "vanilla bean ice cream, fudge-covered potato chip clusters, all with a salty caramel swirl." First, that sounds gross; I don't want chips in my ice cream because I'm not Homer fucking Simpson. Secondly, when did Jimmy Fallon become such a foodie? Does NBC really have no one else to pimp out that they are able to get him on his own episode of "Top Chef" AND he somehow gets an ice cream flavor? I'm single-handedly helping ice cream sales soar during the recession (OK, a lot of other people are being fat too, but still) and I'm pretty sure I'm not getting any goddamn recognition. Where are my "Top Chef" cronies at?
2. "Blade Runner" may get a sequel or a prequel, brought to you by Alcon Entertainment, the same producers who created "The Blind Side" and "The Book of Eli" - which BOTH SUCKED. The company has bought the rights and are bouncing around ideas, and I hope that during this process, they somehow manage to all die. What the fuck, guys? There are already 27 movie sequels coming out this year, more than any other year ever, and now you have to ruin the best character Harrison Ford ever played? Yeah, I said it. Deckard > Han Solo. Eat it.
3. I'm thinking about grad school in the fall, and I had considered going to Northwestern University before realizing it was a. too expensive and b. too far away. HOW HAPPY AM I to find out that I effectively avoided seeing a woman get pleasured by her boyfriend in front of a class. Uh, yeah. He used a sex toy on her as part of a human sexuality discussion. I remember when I was in college, state delegates got pissed because a student group considered showing a porn film on campus. I'm sure those same Republicans would lose their shit if they realized some chick was getting off in front of students as part of their curriculum. Keep it classy, Wildcats.
4. If you're bored, feel free to read the reviews I wrote this week, of "Beastly" and "The Adjustment Bureau." I will finally acknowledge that Vanessa Hudgens is hot (especially at the Oscars after-party earlier this week; plz click through the whole slideshow because it's hilarious), but holy shit "Beastly" sucks. Girl, you dumb.
+ EDIT: My needy roommate would like me to tell the world that she passed along the Northwestern story to me, and I otherwise wouldn't have known about the lady that played with a sex toy in front of class. Am I trying to keep our love a secret? Maybe.
+ Photos courtesy of fucknoshoulderpads.tumblr.com (a blog specifically dedicated to Scully's outfits!) and forums.comicbookresources.com