No, I didn't like Marilyn Manson.

I had this horribly long portion of my middle-school years where I really, really wanted to be a Goth kid, so I wore lots of black and listened to the Smiths hours on end and cried a lot over gallons of ice cream. Yup, I hate me, too.

But now that I'm older, and somewhat/maybe/a little bit wiser, and actually wear colors, I think I can revisit that part of my life with a sense of humor, no? Enough humor to pull off these:

X-Ray Thigh High Socks, $24


Crochet Skull Skirt, $86


Catrin Trapunto Three Band Sandals by Frye, $218


Makena sandals by Rachel Roy, $109

I mean, I think any faux-Goth look will be better than this travesty on Mischa Barton ...


... which may be a modified version of this dress now on sale at ShopBop. I'm not sure.

Love Dress by Temperley London, $1,195

Either way, though, I'm not giving it a seal of approval. TOO nasty.

+ Photos courtesy of NastyGalVintage, ShopBop, GoFugYourself

When shoes attack!

OK, I think I'm finally starting, just a little bit, to get over my Nike obsession. Why, you may ask? Because I find these neon hi-tops utterly ghastly, an opinion I DEFINITELY WOULD NOT HAVE HELD a couple of years ago:

Nike Vandal, $78

Instead, I would really like some shoe fairy godmother just to show up at my doorstep with these:

Jessica Simpson Sabina Sandal, $109.95

All I'm trying to do is look like a streetwalker! Enable me!

Oh, and speaking of streetwalkers: If there was anyone more fitting than Mischa Barton to play a hooker on "Law and Order: SVU," I can't think of them.


Is this really how she expects to pay off her $7,000-a-month apartment in Tribeca? Good luck, trick.

+ Photos courtesy of Nordstrom, OMG! Yahoo

An "ugh" roundup.

Many things have happened this past week that have effectively scrambled my brain. Some quick examples:

1. The fact that I can see Tyler Momsen's butt-curve through her skirt.


Wearing something so high up your waist that the world SEES YOUR ASS is probably not a good idea, especially when you're 16. Flagrantly showing off your ladyparts only works best for people like ...

2. Rihanna, who showed the world her nipples and vagina in this dress.


Look hard, you'll see her shaved nothingness. That's basically what I did (you know, after my boyfriend gleefully pointed it out).

3. Scarlett Johansson telling Glamour magazine that she doesn't try to be sexy: ""I don't think about being sexy, being seductive. What you don't want to see is somebody trying to be sexy. That's the most unsexy thing."

I DESPISE celebrities who give the old, "Who do you think is sexy? Oh, me!? You shouldn't have!" bullshit. If you are a female and happen to be popular, chances are that you've CONSCIOUSLY done something along the way to amp up your attractiveness. Based on how often Scarlett bumps up her titties ...



... I'm going to have stick by my theory.

4. Mischa Barton looking like a cracked-out, neo-Goth ho.


The look on the face of the guy talking on his cell phone in the mid-background says it all, honestly.

5. OMG! Yahoo putting RZA on one of their worst-dressed lists, and commenting, "Last time we checked, there weren't any documents indicating that Wu-Tang's RZA had ever served in the military."


Dude, it's RZA. He does WHATEVER THE FUCK HE WANTS. Why would anyone question that?

+ Photos courtesy of The Superficial, OMG! Yahoo, GiantMag