... Why, you may ask? Because MTV's documentary about Paris Hilton premieres tonight ("Paris, Not France"), and if the rule of celebrity documentaries is to be followed, this will suck. Using Britney Spears' "For the Record" as a rule, let's lay down what jaw-dropping revelations will be revealed tonight:
- The person in question isn't who you expect (see: Paris dropping her baby accent).
- The person in question may have an agenda of his or her own (she only uses the baby accent because it makes her money and people like it; epic fail, world.)
- The person in question wants your pity and sympathy, despite his or her millions of dollars, fame and fortune (just forget about her night-vision sex tape, mmkay?)
Check out the trailer and then tune in at 8:30 p.m. if you're trying to punish yourself or something. Like, straight-up, purgatory-type shit.