Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Every Step You Take ...

... on the red carpet should not be a badly dressed one. Instead, they should be pretty, sparkly and memorable, either in a way that shows another side to the celebrity (for example, maturity became Michelle Williams when she dolled it up in yellow Vera Wang at the Academy Awards a couple of years ago) or affirms everything you thought already (Bjork, the swan dress, the media mayhem that ensued). When you're an actor/actress/musician/socialite/whatever, you have money. That money can be used to look not-idiotic. It's not that much to expect, right?

So ... why is it that the Los Angeles screening of "Paper Hearts," that upcoming faux-documentary hipster rom-com thing, was such a legitimate trainwreck? Here are some important lessons:

1. If you're not a stripper, American Apparel is not suitable for evening-wear. Seriously. Unless people put dollars in your G-string on a nightly basis, lay off the lamé.

2. Grandmas are not hip. They are charming, adorable and often bake delicious cookies. However, this does not mean they dress well.

3. Wallpaper should stay on walls.

That is all.

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