I can't afford any of these clothes, so time to bash them.

Who the fuck was letting these women out of the house and to the "Night of Fashion & Technology with LG Mobile Phones" in Los Angeles on Monday? (That seems like the stupidest, most contrived event ever, or at least this week, but still.)

But really, Jessica Simpson's breasts are sagging like all hell, and she's wearing wings on her hips. This is helping her insistence that she's a size 4 how, exactly?


I know that Katharine McPhee's top and capri pants are both from designer Alice + Olivia, but she looks like an Old Navy mannequin working corners in Las Vegas with that overly shiny get-up.


And Rashida Jones's blouse, jeans and fringed boots all look like they're fighting for possession of her body and can't decide who's going to win the bout. It's fucking May in L.A. Why the fuck is ANYONE wearing suede boots and tight long jeans? Oh, and it's pathetic that her muumuu-like shirt is the most in-season apparel she's got on. Wear a dress, woman!


... OK, just not Anna Kendrick's dress. No one is attending a funeral here, it's a party held by a cell phone company. Shit ain't that serious.


+ Photos courtesy of OMG! Yahoo

Are we sure that Nick Lachey isn't laughing last?

I was looking through OMG! Yahoo's "Week in Photos" section, and apparently they said "it was a sad week" for Jessica Simpson since her dog got dragged away by coyotes or whatever. But like, regardless, when is it NOT a sad week for Jessica Simpson? Trick is an emotional eater who gets dumped by practically every dude she dates and with a little sister who likes to rub her marriage in her face.

And come on; this dress isn't doing her any favors, either.

+ Photo courtesy of Yahoo