Weekly hot bitch round-up.

So I haven't had Internet installed in my new apartment yet, which means my updates have been few and far between, as I'm sure you guys may have noticed. I'll try to make up for that today, firstly with this assortment of hot bitches I love/love to hate/want to hate but can't. You know the drill.

1. Halle Berry's family flew somewhere and landed somewhere. I don't really care about that. Instead, I honestly can't even comprehend this family's attractiveness (well, not the baby; that'd be creepy). But you get the idea.


2. Oh Shakira. Only your crazy, FOB-y self would rock dreads, knee-high patent boots and a spangly mini-skirt while performing at the MTV Europe VMAs. So absurd.


3. Why does Natalie Portman vex me so? I generally can't stand her, but in this rockabilly-themed photo shoot in V Magazine, I'm kind of into it. Maybe just because I like stupid hair and make-up. That's probably it.


4. How come Jared Leto looks younger now than he ever did as Jordan Catalano in "My So-Called Life?" I mean, I don't really give a fuck. Bitch is SO FINE. Plus, flannel and denim vests are my vices ...


5. Katy Perry just does such skanky things that I don't even have comments anymore. Really, woman? Light-up nipples?


And putting your boyfriend's name on your ass?


Sigh. My brain hurts.

6. Lastly, Taylor Swift is a crazy ex-girlfriend after my own heart by calling out Joe Jonas for being a cheating douchebag on "SNL" this weekend. Good form.



+ Photos courtesy of The Superficial, Dlisted, Popaholic, OMG! Yahoo, MTV