The bitch is back, etc.

Hola, friends. It has been forever since we've talked. I've been busy, but I've missed you, hope you've been doing well, etc. - and here's some pictures to get this ball rolling again.

The American Music Awards were last night, and if you've been breathing this morning, you've already heard about how Adam Lambert humped a male dancer's face (uh, Prince and Davey Havok have been doing that for years, but whatever) and Jennifer Lopez fell while performing. Hilarity! But you know I'm all about the clothes, so here's my thoughts.

+ Pete Wentz, why are you dressing like a Goth stormtrooper? This is awful. Somewhere, George Lucas is weeping about your rampant use of pleather ... and are those knee-high boots? Foul.


+ Oh, Selena Gomez. You're so fucking boring. I'm not saying you should throw some titties out, but come ON. You're 17. Take some damn dressing risks. Also, your shoes look like you got them from Payless. You make more money than that; we all fucking know it.


+ It always scares me when I see pictures of Joe Perry, becuase I think I'm looking at the walking dead. This photo - and that hairstyle - ain't helping.


+ And, of course, to my final loves: Rihanna, who looked baller in this Marchesa dress and some bizarre bandage-inspired performance get-up ...


... and Shakira, who somehow managed to pull-off both a neon yellow dress and a black disco ball mini with some crucial amounts of delightful cleavage. Impressive, woman. Impressive.


+ Photos courtesy of OMG! Yahoo, The Superficial