Thursday, November 5, 2009
Oh Riri. BIG hug.
More No. 1 songs than any other artist this decade? REALLY?!
OK, so that's not the only thing that surprised me about this interview - I also didn't know how monotonous Rihanna's real voice is. However, I did find this pretty articulate, and I feel bad for her. Damn you Rihanna! Way to con me into paying attention to you when your album is about to come out. You marketing fiend.
P.S. Instant quote: "EFF LOVE!"
Yeah, Battlestar Galactica references!
I would love to be in the future.
Then wearing dresses like this one would be commonplace.
+ Photo courtesy of Nasty Gal Vintage
Then wearing dresses like this one would be commonplace.
+ Photo courtesy of Nasty Gal Vintage
THIS MORNING IS NOT STARTING WELL.
I rarely use this blog to trash people that aren't celebrities, but I was reading Bookworms with Ink this morning and couldn't stop my the wrath.
SO, I have to say: Getting huge blocks of ink tattooed on your body ...
especially that stupid fucking "burn burn burn" quote from "On the Road," IS ANNOYING AND REPETITIVE, as EVERY HIPSTER I KNOW has that fucking tattoo.
STOP IT.
/End bitterness.
+ Photo courtesy of LiveJournal
SO, I have to say: Getting huge blocks of ink tattooed on your body ...
especially that stupid fucking "burn burn burn" quote from "On the Road," IS ANNOYING AND REPETITIVE, as EVERY HIPSTER I KNOW has that fucking tattoo.
STOP IT.
/End bitterness.
+ Photo courtesy of LiveJournal
Rationalizing bad purchases is one of my many talents.
You know, I must admit, it was a lot easier to convince myself that these shoes - the Sam Edelman Zoe boot - were NOT AT ALL NECESSARY for my life when they weren't available anywhere.
But now they are. Like, on Lorisshoes.com. For $310. With a 20 percent off coupon that is waiting in my e-mail inbox.
WHY GOD WHY!!@!?
+ Photo courtesy of Lorisshoes.com
But now they are. Like, on Lorisshoes.com. For $310. With a 20 percent off coupon that is waiting in my e-mail inbox.WHY GOD WHY!!@!?
+ Photo courtesy of Lorisshoes.com
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
SO. GROSS.
I feel like two of my worlds - gossip and music - have collided in the form of Perez Hilton going as Lady Gaga for Halloween ... and I now hate both of them. Well, I already definitely hated Perez Hilton and only kind of hated Lady Gaga, but now it's full-fledged rage.
Holding a bag to my face to contain the vomit in 3 ... 2 ... 1 ...
+ Photo courtesy of Justin Timberlake (like, his website, unfortunately not him)
Holding a bag to my face to contain the vomit in 3 ... 2 ... 1 ...
+ Photo courtesy of Justin Timberlake (like, his website, unfortunately not him)
I have to deal with this crap for TWO MORE MOVIES?
So as the release date for "New Moon" steadily approaches - Nov. 20 seems far closer on this side of Halloween - more and more magazines are turning their attention to Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. And I must say, this photoshoot for an upcoming issue of Vanity Fair seems very poor, indeed.
Did they wrap Kristen Stewart in trash? In the eternal words of Minerva McGonogall, 10 points.
Is Robert Pattinson giving the camera his best "Who is this bitch looking at me, I'm turning on the FIERCE!" face? Take another 10 points.
So we've progressed to choking a bitch? TAKE ALL THE POINTS YOU WANT.
+ Photos courtesy of Dlisted
Did they wrap Kristen Stewart in trash? In the eternal words of Minerva McGonogall, 10 points.
Is Robert Pattinson giving the camera his best "Who is this bitch looking at me, I'm turning on the FIERCE!" face? Take another 10 points.
So we've progressed to choking a bitch? TAKE ALL THE POINTS YOU WANT.
+ Photos courtesy of Dlisted
Violence is MY answer.
Someone gave Kim Kardashian a black eye ...
... and it wasn't ME?!
How lame. All I want to do is beat her up for looking good in this Princess Jasmine costume and ruining all my love for the Disney character.
Is that so wrong?
+ Photos courtesy of People, CelebJihad (yup, that's a real website)
... and it wasn't ME?!
How lame. All I want to do is beat her up for looking good in this Princess Jasmine costume and ruining all my love for the Disney character.
Is that so wrong?
+ Photos courtesy of People, CelebJihad (yup, that's a real website)
Are we kindred accessories spirits?
I am convinced that Rihanna is obsessed with shiny things.
Why else would she pile on THIS GODDAMN MANY accessories?
Like, huge, gaudy necklace?
Chanel purse, and an obnoxiously large ring?
A belt ... sewn onto your skirt?
I don't even get it. It makes my brain hurt. Probably as much as her interview with Diane Sawyer on Thursday and Friday will. But FUCK YES I am going to watch that - AND Chris Brown's interview with Sway for MTV News on Friday. First time Rihanna discusses the Chris Brown beatdown, and Chris Brown yet again trying to talk his way out of it? Of course I'll be there.
+ Photos courtesy of The Superficial
Why else would she pile on THIS GODDAMN MANY accessories?
Like, huge, gaudy necklace?
Chanel purse, and an obnoxiously large ring?
A belt ... sewn onto your skirt?
I don't even get it. It makes my brain hurt. Probably as much as her interview with Diane Sawyer on Thursday and Friday will. But FUCK YES I am going to watch that - AND Chris Brown's interview with Sway for MTV News on Friday. First time Rihanna discusses the Chris Brown beatdown, and Chris Brown yet again trying to talk his way out of it? Of course I'll be there.
+ Photos courtesy of The Superficial
From Pineapple Express, to General Hospital?
When James Franco said he wanted to guest star on "General Hospital," I laughed it off. I found it humorous - you know, like jokes are SUPPOSED to be.
But then "General Hospital" released this picture of him, as a confirmation that the guest spot is actually going to happen.
And I cannot stop laughing. He looks so serious! So somber! So soap opera-like!
I wish I watched "General Hospital," so I could indulge in the Franco joy on Nov. 20. But alas, I do not. I am a "Young and the Restless" girl. I have to spend my weeknights watching something on the Soap.net channel, OK?
+ Photo courtesy of the LA Times
But then "General Hospital" released this picture of him, as a confirmation that the guest spot is actually going to happen.
And I cannot stop laughing. He looks so serious! So somber! So soap opera-like!
I wish I watched "General Hospital," so I could indulge in the Franco joy on Nov. 20. But alas, I do not. I am a "Young and the Restless" girl. I have to spend my weeknights watching something on the Soap.net channel, OK?
+ Photo courtesy of the LA Times
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
My people are OFFENDED.
Dear Jerry Bruckheimer,
I just watched this.
And ... fuck you. PRETTY SURE that Persians back in the day DID NOT HAVE English accents, or Asian-looking sluts they carried around to help them in "quests." OR JAKE GYLLENHAAL.
Die.
Loathingly,
Me.
I just watched this.
And ... fuck you. PRETTY SURE that Persians back in the day DID NOT HAVE English accents, or Asian-looking sluts they carried around to help them in "quests." OR JAKE GYLLENHAAL.
Die.
Loathingly,
Me.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Lamé AND mesh?!
Why do I like these so much?!
They look like prison gear for prostitutes. And yet I can get behind that SO MUCH.
Downsides, though: They are obviously next up on Rihanna and Lilo's wardrobe choices, given their strong aversion to wearing pants. Umm, count Lady Gaga in on that one, too.
But still, I covet - especially from this hilarious angle.
I'm blaming Halloween for this one.
+ Photos courtesy of 80s Purple
They look like prison gear for prostitutes. And yet I can get behind that SO MUCH.
Downsides, though: They are obviously next up on Rihanna and Lilo's wardrobe choices, given their strong aversion to wearing pants. Umm, count Lady Gaga in on that one, too.
But still, I covet - especially from this hilarious angle.
I'm blaming Halloween for this one.
+ Photos courtesy of 80s Purple
Why so pricey?!
Jon + Kate + Heidi + Spencer = World implodes.
Is it wrong that I actually find Heidi and Spencer from "The Hills" dressing up as Jon and Kate Gosselin for Halloween really hilarious?
Granted, I think the Kate costume will be what Sarah Palin was last year (trite, overdone, annoying, overexposed, etc.), and staged photo shoots done before the actual date of Halloween are annoying and gimmicky. But the idea is vaguely genius, no? Or, at least as smart as people from "The Hills" can get.
+ Photo courtesy of The Superficial
Granted, I think the Kate costume will be what Sarah Palin was last year (trite, overdone, annoying, overexposed, etc.), and staged photo shoots done before the actual date of Halloween are annoying and gimmicky. But the idea is vaguely genius, no? Or, at least as smart as people from "The Hills" can get.
+ Photo courtesy of The Superficial
TOXIC PARENTS and housewives.
Because I delight in all things trashy, of course I watch "Real Housewives of Atlanta" on Bravo. But I must admit, last night's reunion special - the first of two parts - was actually pretty boring. People's TV Watch nails it pretty much on the head when describing how weirdly uneventful the reunion was, but I'm looking forward to next week's part two, mainly because this preview clip is hilarious.
Michael Lohan, wtf ARE YOU DOING?
Also, that makes this clip between NeNe and Lohan on "The Insider" even funnier.
Oh reality celebrities and fame whores. You are da best.
Michael Lohan, wtf ARE YOU DOING?
Also, that makes this clip between NeNe and Lohan on "The Insider" even funnier.
Oh reality celebrities and fame whores. You are da best.
Whomp whomp, meet Mad Max.
Look, I love me some fucking "Mad Max," OK? It's like, the only thing Mel Gibson has done that I have ever liked, and I adore it ... especially when he gets all "Lawrence of Arabia"-esque:
And I would have loved if Hollywood just didn't fuck with it. But why would they do that? That would be too logical. So now, yes, "Mad Max: Fury Road" is in the works with a supposed release date of 2012, and this guy, Tom Hardy, starring.
The only reason I remember him is because he played Picard's clone in "Star Trek: Nemesis" ...
... NO JUDGMENTS, OK? So what, I like "Star Trek" and post-apocalyptic films. Fuck you guys.
+ Photos courtesy of HiSciFi, This Is London, IMDB
And I would have loved if Hollywood just didn't fuck with it. But why would they do that? That would be too logical. So now, yes, "Mad Max: Fury Road" is in the works with a supposed release date of 2012, and this guy, Tom Hardy, starring.
The only reason I remember him is because he played Picard's clone in "Star Trek: Nemesis" ...
... NO JUDGMENTS, OK? So what, I like "Star Trek" and post-apocalyptic films. Fuck you guys.
+ Photos courtesy of HiSciFi, This Is London, IMDB
Thursday, October 29, 2009
It's been a while since I've mocked famous people's clothes.
While perusing on Yahoo, I came across a fuckload of photo galleries of recent Hollywood events (from the 13th Annual Hollywood Film Awards Gala, the Champions Who Change Women's Lives Gala and the world premiere of the Michael Jackson documentary "This Is It"), so I think it's a time for a best-worst dressed list. It's not like I have anything better to do (cough bored at my job cough).
+ Why does Jamie Kennedy look so pained being next to girlfriend Jennifer Love Hewitt? Granted, she seems high-maintenance. But he just looks like he's been pulling out his hair from the stress - or is that just early male baldness? ZING!
+ Diablo Cody is one of the worst people. I am really anti celebrities who show up to red-carpet events dressed like schlubs. Like, what the fuck is this, from Sears' clearance rack? Negative.
+ Is this Lauren Conrad looking like a suitable human being, and not like she's actually wearing some of her own fashion designs? I like. Also, ZING! again.
+ I can't really respect Iranian actress Shohreh Aghdashloo, because she pulled the race-traitor card and played a terrorist on "24." But bitch is 57 FUCKING YEARS OLD and looks good as shit. Is that cleavage I see? Allah's probably not happy, but I am.
+ Umm ... why is Zooey Deschanel so poofy in this picture? Is there a little Ben Gibbard baby growing inside of her? I'm pretty sure that kid would trump Bronx Mowgli in terms of hipster cred - Pete and Ashlee better watch their asses.
+ Lastly, there's nothing to say about Aasif Mandvi except for that he's perfect and a gem in my comedian-loving heart. That is all.
+ Photos courtesy of Yahoo
+ Why does Jamie Kennedy look so pained being next to girlfriend Jennifer Love Hewitt? Granted, she seems high-maintenance. But he just looks like he's been pulling out his hair from the stress - or is that just early male baldness? ZING!
+ Diablo Cody is one of the worst people. I am really anti celebrities who show up to red-carpet events dressed like schlubs. Like, what the fuck is this, from Sears' clearance rack? Negative.
+ Is this Lauren Conrad looking like a suitable human being, and not like she's actually wearing some of her own fashion designs? I like. Also, ZING! again.
+ I can't really respect Iranian actress Shohreh Aghdashloo, because she pulled the race-traitor card and played a terrorist on "24." But bitch is 57 FUCKING YEARS OLD and looks good as shit. Is that cleavage I see? Allah's probably not happy, but I am.
+ Umm ... why is Zooey Deschanel so poofy in this picture? Is there a little Ben Gibbard baby growing inside of her? I'm pretty sure that kid would trump Bronx Mowgli in terms of hipster cred - Pete and Ashlee better watch their asses.
+ Lastly, there's nothing to say about Aasif Mandvi except for that he's perfect and a gem in my comedian-loving heart. That is all.
+ Photos courtesy of Yahoo
James Cameron, what's up, player?
I keep thinking I'm going to hate "Avatar." And then I watch the trailer (the second one just leaked, and is below or linked to YouTube here) and kind of look forward to it again.
Finally, I just land on the idea that nothing James Cameron does can ever be as good as "Aliens"-
- or "T2" -
- or YES, EVEN "TITANIC" -
but I don't mind if he keeps trying.
+ Photos courtesy of IMDB, Photobucket, JamesCameron.org
Finally, I just land on the idea that nothing James Cameron does can ever be as good as "Aliens"-
- or "T2" -
- or YES, EVEN "TITANIC" -
but I don't mind if he keeps trying.
+ Photos courtesy of IMDB, Photobucket, JamesCameron.org
Today's "UGH, fuck THAT!" edition.
The daily WTF round-up:
1. The Washington Post does a (completely unnecessary) story on the $5.7 million mansion that MTV uses for "The Real World: Washington, D.C." Since the cast leaves Washington this month (get off my turf, douchebags!), reporter Dan Zak got invited in and perused the home, noting how MTV tried to localize it by including pictures of Metro system maps (so colorful!) ...
... and Ben's Chili Bowl. Against my better judgment, I'm intrigued. I'll probably regret this as soon as the show airs in December.
2. Forbes magazine lays off as many as 100 people. Yes, Forbes, the magazine about rich people whose constantly stupid lists drive me crazy. I find this sadly ironic.
3. Disgraced reporter Jayson Blair (yup, that asshole went to the same journalism school I did) is apparently speaking at a seminar on media ethics. The title? "Lesson Learned." This is not OK! This dude has enough balls to have angelic press photos of himself taken ...
... and also make money preaching about shit he obviously knows nothing about? Or, at least didn't respect for years on end? I call BOOSHIT.
4. Violence against women in the media has risen 120 percent in the past five years. I don't know to blow this off, because this study points out examples like cartoon violence on "Family Guy" (which I don't give a fuck about), or take it seriously because it's such a huge increase. Definitely something to think about the next time I'm watching a dead porn star on "Sons of Anarchy" ... yup, maybe you should have watched this week. Just sayin'.
+ Photos courtesy of Mappery, Pop and Politics
1. The Washington Post does a (completely unnecessary) story on the $5.7 million mansion that MTV uses for "The Real World: Washington, D.C." Since the cast leaves Washington this month (get off my turf, douchebags!), reporter Dan Zak got invited in and perused the home, noting how MTV tried to localize it by including pictures of Metro system maps (so colorful!) ...
... and Ben's Chili Bowl. Against my better judgment, I'm intrigued. I'll probably regret this as soon as the show airs in December.
2. Forbes magazine lays off as many as 100 people. Yes, Forbes, the magazine about rich people whose constantly stupid lists drive me crazy. I find this sadly ironic.
3. Disgraced reporter Jayson Blair (yup, that asshole went to the same journalism school I did) is apparently speaking at a seminar on media ethics. The title? "Lesson Learned." This is not OK! This dude has enough balls to have angelic press photos of himself taken ...
... and also make money preaching about shit he obviously knows nothing about? Or, at least didn't respect for years on end? I call BOOSHIT.
4. Violence against women in the media has risen 120 percent in the past five years. I don't know to blow this off, because this study points out examples like cartoon violence on "Family Guy" (which I don't give a fuck about), or take it seriously because it's such a huge increase. Definitely something to think about the next time I'm watching a dead porn star on "Sons of Anarchy" ... yup, maybe you should have watched this week. Just sayin'.
+ Photos courtesy of Mappery, Pop and Politics
You make me transform into HATRED.
Dear Chris Brown,
I understand that your new album, "Graffiti," is coming out on Dec. 15. Great. I look forward to hating it on sheer principle, as I have come to my senses and decided "I Can Transform Ya" is awful.
However, could you PLEASE put a fucking shirt on?
You are not D'Angelo.
Your constant need to divert people's attention from your girlfriend-beating by showing off your "hot bod" is actually pretty gross.
Quit it!
Disdainfully and not at all sexually excitedly,
Me.
P.S. Your tattoos are still stupid.
+ Photos courtesy of The Superficial, NecoleBitchie
I understand that your new album, "Graffiti," is coming out on Dec. 15. Great. I look forward to hating it on sheer principle, as I have come to my senses and decided "I Can Transform Ya" is awful.
However, could you PLEASE put a fucking shirt on?
You are not D'Angelo.
Your constant need to divert people's attention from your girlfriend-beating by showing off your "hot bod" is actually pretty gross.
Quit it!
Disdainfully and not at all sexually excitedly,
Me.
P.S. Your tattoos are still stupid.
+ Photos courtesy of The Superficial, NecoleBitchie
So many conflicted emotions!
Why does Urban Outfitters have to tempt me so ...
LAMEZIES, you mega-corporate assholes. All I want to do is look at some sparkly Nikes without being assailed by your subtle encouragement of anorexia (look, as much as I mock celebrities who look off their skinny game, I still have some semblance of a heart ... a teeny one) - IS THAT SO WRONG?
+ Photos courtesy of Urban Outfitters
LAMEZIES, you mega-corporate assholes. All I want to do is look at some sparkly Nikes without being assailed by your subtle encouragement of anorexia (look, as much as I mock celebrities who look off their skinny game, I still have some semblance of a heart ... a teeny one) - IS THAT SO WRONG?
+ Photos courtesy of Urban Outfitters
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