+ Why does Jamie Kennedy look so pained being next to girlfriend Jennifer Love Hewitt? Granted, she seems high-maintenance. But he just looks like he's been pulling out his hair from the stress - or is that just early male baldness? ZING!

+ Diablo Cody is one of the worst people. I am really anti celebrities who show up to red-carpet events dressed like schlubs. Like, what the fuck is this, from Sears' clearance rack? Negative.

+ Is this Lauren Conrad looking like a suitable human being, and not like she's actually wearing some of her own fashion designs? I like. Also, ZING! again.

+ I can't really respect Iranian actress Shohreh Aghdashloo, because she pulled the race-traitor card and played a terrorist on "24." But bitch is 57 FUCKING YEARS OLD and looks good as shit. Is that cleavage I see? Allah's probably not happy, but I am.

+ Umm ... why is Zooey Deschanel so poofy in this picture? Is there a little Ben Gibbard baby growing inside of her? I'm pretty sure that kid would trump Bronx Mowgli in terms of hipster cred - Pete and Ashlee better watch their asses.

+ Lastly, there's nothing to say about Aasif Mandvi except for that he's perfect and a gem in my comedian-loving heart. That is all.

+ Photos courtesy of Yahoo
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