If Kate Winslet and Emma Watson do a cosmetics ad together I will annihilate something.

I refuse to call Wednesday "Hump Day," because I think a. humping is gross b. yeah. c. if you're humping, why wouldn't you just have sex already? d. I don't get it.

And yet, HERE WE ARE. Tomorrow I leave town to attend my brother's medical school graduation ceremony, so if you don't see any posts by me until Saturday, contain your tears. I know it's tough. It will tear you apart, probably. BUT POWER THROUGH. I'll be back this weekend.

Until then, have this.

1. Pink - whose awful hair I commented on in a recent post - admits her new hair sucks, and goes the easy route: blaming it on the hairstylist. As one of my friends pointed out, she looks like Mrs. Roper with the new hair and the caftan. I should have loved that, since Mrs. Roper had amazing outfits like this ...


... and this ...


... but on Pink, the caftan + shitty hair = not as good. Maybe she'll let her hair grow out and will hopefully go to another hairdresser next time. May I suggest someone who doesn't suck?

2. Did anyone else know that Carson Daly's show was still on the air? Prepare to have your mind blown even more: NBC just picked it up for an 11th season. ELEVEN. YEARS. It's amazing to realize that Daly has managed to stay relevant that long, and it's horrible that the only thing I can really tell you about all his time in the spotlight is that he's lost some weight since his "TRL" days. See?


Anyway, I miss nothing about "TRL" but the Backstreet Boys. I didn't have cable when "TRL" was on the air so I used to make my friends record episodes for me - ON VHS! - so I could watch them later. I still think I have this music video on tape somewhere.



3. I've always been jealous of Emma Watson - those legs! that daring pixie haircut! - and now I'm EVEN MORE JEALOUS that she LEFT her education at Brown University to go be the new face of Lancôme. Here's a picture of her shooting an ad in Paris earlier this week:


You know what makes me most angry, though? KATE WINSLET, FEMALE ICON OF MY LIFE, ALSO WORKS FOR LANCOME.


Meaning that Emma Watson and Kate Winslet will probably get to hang out and be friends and do British things together. I AM SO JEALOUS I CAN ONLY WRITE IN CAPS TO CONVEY MY FEELINGS OF ENVY AND RAGE.

+ Photos courtesy of 3.bp.blogspot.com, 4.bp.blogspot.com, www.starling-fitness.com, justjared.buzznet.com, models.com

Hot and not.

Maybe this "Hot and Not" discussion will be a weekly thing, I don't know. But here's one good-looking person and not-good-looking person. It's pretty self-explanatory.

NOT: Pink, at the March 10 Los Angeles premiere of "The Lincoln Lawyer."


I know she's pregnant, so I can understand wearing a caftan because duh, it's comfy. Shit, I would wear caftans all the time if that were socially acceptable. Going to work? Caftan. Going to the bank? Caftan. Going to my brother's medical school graduation? Caftan. I'm lazy, if you couldn't tell.

But I really have to veto Pink's grey hair - I know she's had it for a couple years, since '08 - because I don't think a woman should be pregnant and also have grey hair. That raises all kinds of older-lady-with-baby-growing-inside-her visions, and since Pink isn't an AARP member, I would like her to go back to her namesake. Or black. Or blond. Something that just isn't terrible, you know? Something that doesn't remind me of the 2009 story of a pregnant 66-year-old, the oldest woman to give birth. Because, ew.

HOT: Jim Parrack, at the March 8 Los Angeles premiere of "Battle: Los Angeles."


I've pined ever since he started playing Hoyt on "True Blood," and his relationship with vampire Jessica (Deborah Ann Wall) is the only one I care about on the show. When they got back together last season, it was totally the best ...


... and if you know my affinity for white trash-looking dudes, you can understand my soft spot for the guy. See?


So here's the lesson: COME BACK TO ME, TRUE BLOOD. COME BACK. Dear June, arrive faster, thanks. And bring Hoyt's hotness with you.

+ Photos courtesy of Yahoo Movies, 2.bp.blogspot.com, 26.media.tumblr.com

VMAs - Donezo.

This year's VMAs are over; basically if you didn't watch you missed them hand out like eight awards total and then a bunch of OK-but-not-spectacular performances. Oh well.

Here are my last thoughts: Shakira and Pink both look pretty good.



And, as my boyfriend pointed out, both wearing the same dress. I hope that's why they're giggling here and they're not secretly wishing the other death or something.


Although, if they had the same stylist who gave them each the same dress, that shit would suck hard.

Until next year, then!

VMAs - Best New Artist.

Lady Gaga, who just won for Best New Artist, has changed outfits from this ...


and is now wearing this. HOW DOES SHE SEE? SRSLY.


Oh thank god she just took the mask off to make her acceptance speech. Also, Eminem's face is priceless, especially when she says this Moonman is "for God and for the gays."

Also, I'm sorry, Serena Williams is here? What the fuck, since she got kicked out of the U.S. Open she can make it to awards shows?



Her and Kanye should get together.

But yeah, Serena just introduced Pink, who is now performing "Sober" while doing circus acrobatics and hanging from an overhead bar. Oh and a boob is popping out with a pink heart painted on her nipple. Insane.

P!nk - New Music - More Music Videos

+ Photos courtesy of MTV