I would probably kiss Ben Gibbard and like it.

For some reason I thought hipster chicks would be less insanely obsessed with their weight than like, the Heidi Montags of the world. I guess I forgot about how Lily Allen lost all that weight and now flaunts her awkward boobs all over the place, but I also like to pretend she doesn't exist, so there's that.

But anyway, Zooey Deschanel - the one Katy Perry looks uncomfortably like (Z on left, K on right) -


- is getting ready for her wedding to Death Cab for Cutie's Ben Gibbard this fall by slimming down, according to the New York Post. Granted, this is the New York Post, so about 90 percent of what they print is fiction. But, if by some off-chance, this shit is true, I don't even know what to say.

The woman looks like this:


What weight is there to even LOSE?! Ugh, more evidence bitches are crazy.

+ Photos courtesy of The Hot Hits, Portland Mercury