DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH!

I was goofing around this morning on Apple's Movie Trailer website, and I stumbled across this:

Independent film "Aladin," which is described as ...

From the land of myths and legends - India - comes a fantasy adventure for the entire family. Directed by Sujoy Ghosh, ‘Aladin’ is a modern re-imagining of the classic tale of ‘Aladin and The Magic Lamp’. Aladin Chatterjee (Riteish Deshmukh) lives in the city of Khwaish, an orphan who has been bullied since childhood by Kasim and his gang. But his life changes when Jasmine (Jacquiline Fernandes) gives him a magic lamp - because it lets loose the genie Genius (Amitabh Bachchan). Desperate to grant him 3 wishes and seek the end of his contract with the Magic Lamp, the rock-star Genius makes Aladin’s life difficult until the real threat looms on the horizon : the ex-genie Ringmaster (Sanjay Dutt). Why does Ringmaster want to kill Aladin? What is the dark secret about Aladin’s past that Genius is carrying? And what is Aladin’s destiny? Find out more in this swashbuckling fantasy adventure film from Eros Entertainment and Boundscript Motion Pictures.

First of all, what, no other country except India can be "the land of myths and legends?" Bullshit. And secondly, here's the trailer for this crap - I got particularly offended by the half-naked dancing girls in Jabbawockeez masks - and all I have to say is this: Bollywood, step the FUCK OFF. There is only one version of this Orientalist-minded tale that matters, and that's Disney's - the one that defined my childhood:


Aren't Indians supposed to hate Muslims, anyway? Stop stealing the few movies (who cares if it's vaguely racist?) we have! STOP FUCKING WITH MY LIFE.

+ Photos courtesy of ChurchCrunch, I Can Has Pixie Dust, Cartoon Doll Emporium