Movie news that pleases me.

I saw "Sucker Punch" last week and I guess I was the only person in the world who liked it, as it currently holds a 20 percent rating on RottenTomatoes. I mean, holy crap that's bad. That's the same rating as "Beastly"! That's just offensive to "Sucker Punch." The only thing linking the two movies is Vanessa Hudgens, so I'm going to blame her.

But yeah, these news items are keeping me happy in light of the commercial failure that is "Sucker Punch."

1. Armie Hammer, who played the Winklevoss twins in "The Social Network" and whose name always makes me giggle because it sounds like Arm & Hammer, will star as Prince Andrew Alcott in "The Brothers Grimm: Snow White," one of the upcoming adaptations of "Snow White." Director Tarsem Singh has already cast Julia Roberts as the Evil Queen. There's another "Snow White" adaptation being planned, with Kristen Stewart, Charlize Theron and Viggo Mortensen.

+ EDIT: Sike! Viggo is no longer going to be in "Snow White and the Huntsman," which pleases me, because APPARENTLY he's in talks to play the villain in the "Superman" movie Amy Adams has been cast in. I'm going to go ahead and say I'm psychic for linking these two pieces of news together in the same post without even knowing their connection at first! You're welcome. Anyway, have these pictures of Hammer and Mortensen anyway.

If there could somehow be a "Snow White" adaptation with both Hammer and Mortensen in one movie, I would be super pumped, since Hammer looks like this ...


... and Mortensen looks like this ...


But alas, it cannot be. I would probably see Singh's version, because I can't stand Kristen Stewart, but I also can't stand Julia Roberts, so this will definitely be a balancing act for my hatred. I hate most female actresses, big surprise!

2. Amy Adams will be Lois Lane in the upcoming "Superman" adaptation, which Zack Snyder - who created the sadly under-performing "Sucker Punch" - will direct. I'm totally OK with this idea, since Kate Bosworth was such a poor Lois Lane in 2006's "Superman Returns," and since Adams kicked so much ass in "The Fighter." Literally, when she punched Micky's sisters in the face, I couldn't be happier.


Who wouldn't punch those shrill harpy bitches? Honestly.

3. Lastly, I'm not necessarily excited by this, but definitely intrigued: Mila Kunis has been cast as the Wicked Witch of the West in the film adaptation of "Oz: The Great and Powerful," which will also star James Franco. They played a drug-happy couple in 2010's "Date Night," which also starred Franco's amazing facial hair.


Sam Raimi (who did "The Evil Dead" and the "Spider-Man" trilogy with Tobey Maguire) is directing "Oz," which could be awesome, and the prequel will take a look at the land from the Wizard's point of view, chronicling how he came to power, as we all saw in "The Wizard of Oz." Franco is pretty slimy and sleazy at times, so I can definitely see him doing well with the role - and Kunis is hot. The end.

+ Photos courtesy of piercedbyalance.com, lilokpelikula.files.wordpress.com, parcbench.com, hotflick.net

Probly the only time Gary Oldman and Snooki will be mentioned in the same place.

I've been at work for more than five hours - and I still have five hours to go - and it's killing me. Mondays + Daylight Savings Time = terrible. If I could sneak to my car and take a nap, that'd be tight.

Until then, I will comment on things that are meaningless to most of the world. It's all I know how to do.

1. I'll be honest, I've smirked a lot over Charlie Sheen's recent crazy (I'm not linking to anything regarding it because if you didn't already know about it I can't explain it to you in such a brief space). But I did get depressed after reading this essay on why Alice in Chains member Mike Starr, who recently died after a stint on "Celebrity Rehab," should give us more insight as to Sheen's bizarro antics. Sheen's an addict, so I shouldn't laugh at his behavior - no matter how many times he says "winning." But one of my favorite authors Bret Easton Ellis also points out that Sheen is giving us what we want out of celebrities, which is pretty depressing but also pretty accurate. Shame on us, yo.

2. I had to see "Red Riding Hood" last week (you should read my review if you didn't already), and the film underperformed at the box office, which is a welcome relief. (Sadly, so did "Mars Needs Moms," which I actually thought was pretty good.) Anyway, you don't have to sit through the awful of "Red Riding Hood" to get a peek at Gary Oldman's great purple-velvet-dress-cloak outfit from the film - and some other great Oldman outfits, counted down by io9.

Look at him filming "Red Riding Hood" - so damn purple!


And back during "Dracula" - so damn creepy!


And that fucking hair!


Seriously, the list is amazing, and so are Oldman's outfits. And they're often quite feminine, despite Oldman's grizzled old-manliness - the sign of a great actor! See him licking that blood off a recently used razor? Nauseating cinematic legend!

3. Arcade Fire releases a trailer of their 30-minute short-film, "Scenes from the Suburbs," which they worked on with Spike Jonze (who also collaborated with them on their video for the single "The Suburbs") and which (duh) shares the name of their Grammy-winning third album. Look, here's a clip! Supposedly the whole thing is coming to DVD eventually.



4. Things for Urban Outfitters, which is facing plummeting stock prices because of their poor profits recently, keep getting worse: the Associated Press is now suing the store for using an AP picture of President Obama, which freelance photographer Mannie Garcia took for the AP in 2006 ...


... (which artist Shepard Fairey then made into the "Hope" poster, which became pretty legendary) ...


... without their permission on T-shirts. AP already was in a legal wrangle with Fairey for using the image, so it's not surprising that Urban Outfitters would be next.

5. Lastly, and probably most depressingly, have now seen more of Snooki's body than I ever wanted to. Or, look for more photos here. I could make fun of her but honestly I just want to give her a better-fitting bikini bottom. Maybe not boyshorts? Anything that wouldn't create a wedgie would basically work, because the amount that my eyes hate me - and my sympathy for Snooki and the woes of overweight girls everywhere - are both now reaching optimum levels. BITCH YOU'RE RICH, BUY SOMETHING THAT FITS.

+ Photos courtesy of www.movieline.com, www.empireonline.com, media.sfx.co.uk, www.williscreative.com, www.doobybrain.com