Vogue fails again.

So Jessica Biel is February's cover for Vogue. And my reaction is a solid "WTF?"


My boyfriend is all about Jessica Biel; he probably would have sex with her any situation, ever. But this is VOGUE. Last time I checked, you had to be vaguely relevant, or doing some kind of timely project, or, well, ANYTHING, to be on its cover. Yet the only thing Jessica Biel has lined up is a role in the ensemble "Valentine's Day," which looks pretty horrible -



- and the part of Bradley Cooper's love interest in "The A-Team," which doesn't come out for a few months. Oh, and she's dating Justin Timberlake. Right, cuz that matters - I mean, I would kill to date that hot piece. But like, so what? Is being someone's arm candy really enough to be the cover of the most powerful fashion magazine in the world?

Plus, the WHOLE FUCKING STORY is about like, 'Ooh, Jessica Biel is ABOUT to make it big.' Really? Cuz she's been in the industry for like a decade and still not broken into the upper echelon. I really don't give a fuck how normal she is, because she should be: She hasn't done anything popular enough yet to justify becoming an uppity bitch. So ... yeahhhh ... Meh.





And, lastly, I think the photos are ugly. She seems unhealthy, like she's lost of weight lately, something the article mentions but then doesn't follow up on (yay, journalism!). Bleh. Fail, Anna Wintour. FAIL.

+ Photos courtesy of Vogue

Yup, I have a journalism degree.

There's lots of media-related news flying around this week, and while some of it has got me really angry, some of it's pretty baller. So, indulge my journalist's nerdiness for a while, plz ...

Stupid things:

1. The football coach from the University of Montana, Bobby Hauck, ignoring student journalists from the school's newspaper, the Montana Kaimin, after they wrote a story about football players involved in an alleged assault. Since then, Hauck refuses to take their question in press conferences, belittles them in front of other reporters and is being an overall jackass; the Missoulian wrote a pretty solid story about it. As a former editor for my college paper, I can honestly say that was always our one fear: That the university's Athletics Department would get pissed off, pull our credentials and fuck us over entirely; it's scary to know that shit can actually happen.

2. Self magazine dethrones Bethesda, Md., as the healthiest city for women in the nation. Granted, I spent my teenager years-early adulthood in Bethesda and pretty much hated it. But knowing my uppity neighbors, they will be pissed off about this. I'm not sure if the fact that Totalbeauty.com ranks Bethesda as the city with the hottest guys in the country (... seriously?!) will help soothe their woes, either.

3. Ashlee Simpson will be in an upcoming issue of Vogue. Here's her getting to the photo shoot, looking confused and stupid:


Fuck you for this choice, Anna Wintour. You are dumb as a fucking box.

Good things:

1. Vanity Fair does a pretty solid piece on how the fuck Jon and Kate Gosselin got so famous, and what that's done to them as people. This was them before the fame:


As someone who is similarly confused about why I so often read up on these useless people, I found the piece well-organized and really intriguing. Plus, I ALSO love sushi, so I learned something I have in common with Kate Gosselin. You know, because I don't ever plan on having eight fucking children, so we can't share that bond.

2. The Washington Post unleashed their print redesign earlier this week, and I actually really like it. It's more colorful, graphics-oriented and eye-catching, and thankfully, it's not too "YAY WE'RE TRYING TO BE HIP LOVE US." Here's a breakdown of all the differences, and here's today's front page:


3. And the Post also wrote a story today about various musicians like Pearl Jam, R.E.M. and the Roots taking part in a FOIA request about what music was played at Guantanamo Bay to torture prisoners. Finally, rock stars rally together to attack something that isn't downloading music! My heart rejoices/hates the treatment of prisoners.

+ Photos courtesy of Celebuzz, Urie, Newseum

Don't people have stylists?

Fug, as done by Shenae Grimes from "90210."


DOUBLE fug, as done by Anna Wintour. Isn't this woman supposed to be editor in chief of Vogue? This shit PAINS MY EYES.


+ Photos courtesy of Yahoo