1. Sarah Palin's reality show is probably getting picked up by the Discovery Channel, to the fine cost of $1 million an episode. That is blasphemous, and the same price that each friend was getting paid when "Friends" was still a thing people cared about, so ... I dunno. I mean, yeah, I find Jennifer Aniston annoying. But I find Sarah Palin to be A STAIN UPON THE FUCKING EARTH. So maybe she'll fall in a hole or something. Or get ratings like Jessica Simpson's, and then Discovery will cancel the show. Either works for me.
2. Despite all those rumors that John Krasinski would get the part, Marvel has announced that Chris Evans will claim the role of Captian America in an upcoming film adaptation of the comic. How wonderfully underwhelming. You remember Chris Evans, right?
This douche that was in those two "Fantastic Four" movies, which Rotten Tomatoes can attest were fucking horrible? The only really good thing Evans has to his credit is Danny Boyle's "Sunshine," which I'm pretty sure only my boyfriend and I saw. Plus, is Captain America now not going to be brawny and look like this?
Because a jacked-as-fuck Captain America is the only kind I know, and if he turns into some lithe dude instead because that happens to be Evans's body type, that's stupid. PACK ON THE POUNDS, friend. Patriotism can only be size XXL.
3. And lastly, I found my eyes blinded this morning by the sight of these pants, now for sale at Karmaloop.
Sigh. It's like that new, slutty Strawberry Shortcake threw up on her jeans after a bad night out at da club with the Bratz dolls or something. This can't be good for America's youth/fashion sense.
+ Photos courtesy of Mayhemers, Webwombat, Karmaloop
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