Fifty bucks, Grandpa. For seventy-five, the wife can watch.

You know, for a company that's been trying to rebrand itself during the past year as less sexy, Victoria's Secret sure does sell some "Pretty Woman"-esque shoes. As in, ready for the street and a jaunt in a stranger's bed. Hey-o!

Jessica Simpson Knotted Bootie, $159

Dolce Vita Strappy Platform Boot, $398

I have to be objective, though (ha! on this blog? yeah, right), and give props to these other pairs VS has stocked for fall. They're not so awful, actually.

Miss Sixty Peep-toe Platform Bootie, $199


Frye Over-the-Knee Riding Boot, $458

And sigh, these are just confusing. Knee-high suede, but with an open-toe? When the hell are you supposed to wear these, like in the middle of a snowstorm when you think your toes may need breathing room? UNNECESSARY.

Dolce Vita Strappy Boot, $329

+ Photos courtesy of Victoria's Secret